Wednesday, September 10, 2008

All for Nothing

Hey there. Well, that big news is no longer.

Clark had been offered a new job the Friday before last, and after much prayer and thought together, he took it. Last Monday, he called the manager in charge of the project and told him we were in. The position was to be in Stuttgart, Germany, and we were to move by the end of the month (yes, this month, September, leaving less than three weeks to prepare). Everything was working out, the project manager liked him, the government sponsors liked him, he was very well qualified, and the job had perks out the wazoo. We just had to wait for his contract funding to come through before we were going to make official arrangements and share the news with everyone. We wanted to avoid getting everyone in a tizzy in the event that something fell through.

Just like it did.

For some unknown reason, the contract fell through. The project manager doesn't know what happened (or if he does, he's not admitting it). Up until yesterday afternoon, we were told that we should start doing whatever we could to get ready, because things would move very quickly once the money came in from the government (hence my lack of posts this week - I was doing research and preparing). Now, we've been told to stop preparing entirely. The phrasing was that the contract was "put on hold for now" and that it might still go through later, but I'm having a hard time putting any hope in that.

So there you have it. A bunch of annoying cliffhangers and suspense for nothing. We're not going anywhere. I'm sorry for doing that to you all, but I hope you can understand that it was really about a 95% sure thing, and if it had happened, it really would have been big news.

We're really bummed out about it. Sure, there were things that we would have missed here, namely family and friends, but the job would have only been for a tour of 3-5 years. We had weighed the pros and cons, and since we decided to go for it, we obviously decided that it was something we wanted to do. Everything that has happened in the past few months and our entire current life situation indicated that this was an open door for us, and we really felt that God was blessing the opportunity and wanted us to take it. It never feels good to have a door slammed in your face, though. Perhaps God just wanted us to trust in him to take the step of faith by accepting the position, but maybe He didn't intend for us to actually go. I don't know, but if that's the case, I was not ready for it. I feel like my heart's been on a rollercoaster.

Now my last day at my current job is on Friday, and I will then be unemployed. I'm pretty discouraged and am I'm unsure of what to do next. Sorry I didn't tell you the news yesterday, I wasn't really in a bloggy mood. I'm also sorry for the lameness of this post, I promise the next one will be lighter and happier.


amy said...

I'm really sorry that didn't work out. I understand your frustration! Keep your chin up. Being unemployed has its perks :)

AmyB said...

Ugh! The ugly world of contractors. I hate when proposals fall through. I'm sorry!! But, like Amy said, you can have perks! Being a SAHW... with no kids! Yes? YES.

I mean, that's MY five year plan, at lease.