Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You're in for a Treat

Hey Y'all!

Well, I still can't say "y'all" with any authenticity, as no matter what happens, I will always and forever be a full-blooded Yankee. With that said, though, I have experienced The South. I have been in the heart of the country, and am here to report for my fellow northerners on the things on which you're missing out. (This is in good fun, so if you've got some southern pride running through your veins, don't get offended.)

I write to you to describe the Pumpkintown Festival Parade in South Carolina. When I started this blog, I made an effort to keep my state of current residence a secret, but I think it's pretty obvious by now that I do live in South Cackalacky. Onward with the reporting (there will be sprinkles of stories throughout, so bare with me)...

A Pumpkintown Parade?! You mean barrels of gourds, autumn leaves raining down like confetti, dancing people in pumpkin costumes, floats decorated in the spirit of fall?! That's what I was expecting (and looking forward to). It is NOT what I saw.

The parade kicked off with a mountain man being pulled on a trailer with a cannon and waving the Confederate flag.

Picture Point of Interest: The blue tent in the upper right corner. It was the Confederate flag t-shirt vendor booth.

Next, a bunch of Confederate soldiers loading and shooting their guns.

Storytime: The soldier to the far left of the photo was not in uniform. This made the parade crowd angry because he was not the real deal. They started yelling at him and shouting "Yankee, He's a Yankee!, Get the Yankee!"

Picture Point of Interest: The child soldier. He was wearing those really high britches with suspenders and a plaid flannel shirt.

Next, we got the to enjoy the Four-Wheeler Club.

Storytime: The driver of the blue four-wheeler (pictured on the left edge) impressed us with a 30 yard wheelie as he zipped by to catch up with his buddies.

Picture Point(s) of Interest: The children on the four-wheelers.

Then came an old rusty truck with a bluegrass band on its bed.

Picture Point of Interest: This truck looks sort of like Mater from Disney's Cars.

Next we've got the caravan of hillbillies. Seriously. They were members of the Hillbilly Clan, and boy, they justified their titles. There must have been four or five of them.

Storytime: We got to see this "truck" a little later at the festival. On the back of the truck bed was a little box. Inside the box was a doll of a woman going to the bathroom, because as we came to find out, that "box" was an outhouse.

Picture Point of Interest: If you don't believe that this is a legitimate group, click on the photo to blow it up, and look at the details. Specifically observe the license plate and the side of the truck.

And of course, after four-wheelers, bluegrass bands, and hillbillies, why not tractors?

Picture Point of Interest: The pink tractor in the background. This lady's tractor was the only bit of the parade that had anything to do with the fall season or pumpkins.

Then came the cloggers. They didn't wear their clogs for the parade (I can only imagine the shoes would get damaged or be horribly uncomfortable to walk in), so they just danced around with poms. They put on a very cloggy show later on in the day, but I didn't bring a decent lens to get good shots of it. My most sincere apologies.

Picture Points of Interest: The boy to the left of the girl in the center. The clogging boy. And this picture is also interesting as the only two non-white people in attendance that day were captured in a single shot (diversity could be found about half an hour away).

And lastly but certainly not least, the cowboys rode in to town! After what must have been a hard day wrangling cattle, these studs (HA! get it?) were a sight for sore eyes. While I could have much rather gone for a finely decorated English equestrian, I'll still take a gruff cowboy. I like horses, what can I say?

Picture Point of Interest: The leader of the pack. Yeah, that preppy kid is an impostor! He's no cowboy at all! He's a Clemson student! He should have traded that cap for a cowboy hat....

I'll share some more pictures of the festivities later, but this post is far long enough. Tomorrow is Clark's birthday (yay!) so I may or may not be posting. Stay tuned for the rest of the weekend pictures soon!


Clark said...

Nothin like a day of boiled peanuts, cheerwine, and bluegrass. There was also a greased pole climb with a crisp $100 bill at the top for the winner. P.S. I grew up 30 min from here...American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. :)

mpm said...

This...is amazing.

amyB said...

Boiled peanuts and cheerwine, YES, Clark! Did you know that they make DIET cheerwine?

And pralines...don't ever forget River Street Pralines.

Jess said...

Diet Cheerwine is my favorite!!