Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Northsick

This is my third holiday season away from home - aka the north. And I've got to admit, while I enjoy the warmer weather and the slower pace of things in SC, I miss things up there. I know SC is my home, and for ten months out of the year, it feels that way. But it gets especially difficult around the holidays. My friends used to have Christmas parties and gift exchanges every year, and I miss them all the time. I miss decorating my parents' house and spending time with them. It makes me wish I had really spent more quality time with everyone in the years before I moved.

I miss the way the holidays were up there. Yes, the craziness of the mall and of the gazillion shopping centers surrounding where I used to live....it was a frenzy of shopping crazy people and while I was there, I'd be frustrated by it. But the thing is, as I've figured out, is that people are crazy like that everywhere. But down here, it's different. It's a different crowd of crazy people. It's a crowd of crazy people who are not like me, and I'm not comfortable. It's not fun to go shopping for gifts anymore. I'd rather shop online or make things at home.

I miss the decorations at my old mall (the mall which is umpteen times better than any mall in this entire state), I miss having a Jo-Ann Fabrics, I even miss stores like Old Navy up there. There's an Old Navy within 20 minutes of my house, but it's not the one I'm used to. Not even after three holiday seasons.

I used to thrive on change, I think. For my old job, I had to record with complete certainty every single place I had lived in the past 10 years. In a period of six years, I had moved sixteen times. That does include moving to and from different dorms in college. That is a LOT of moving - and I'm still hoping to move again soon, but this time for good. I'm done with change....I just want things to be the same again. Like they used to be.

I like the friends I have now, of course. But I do wish I could be surrounded by all of my old friends and family again. I want Bonnie's Christmas Extravaganza and Joe's Gift Exchange, and I want late night hang-outs during winter breaks at Matt and Amy's house. I want to get Starbucks with Mary and sing goofy Christmas carols with my old middle schoolers. I want my mom's sweet potato casserole and her apple pie and I want to celebrate my birthday at D-Team with Kat since we're only 2 days apart. I want my dad to make breakfast on Christmas morning and I want to go my Aunt Jean's house for Christmas dinner.

What is my deal, I mean really? I'm almost 24 and I'm already talking like the best days of my life are long gone....

Since I know that's not true, I think I just really really miss the people I love. It's been too long since holidays actually happened like they do in my memories.

1 comment:

Diane said...

This is the first year we won't be with you on your birthday and Christmas. I miss taking your picture on Christmas morning as you come down the stairs! We will see you right after the holiday and spend a nice time together. I love you so much!
Mom