Lily of the Palms

38 Weeks and Still Preggers

2012-01-25T22:30:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Julee's still cookin'!

Reached 38 weeks today - cool beans! Pregnancy-wise, I still feel pretty stinkin' awesome. I'm not "done" yet or feel like I need.to.get.this.baby.out.NOW. Nope...still reasonably comfortable. I can't believe how different my pregnancies have been.

Our family has been struck by lightening this week. Well, more like the plague. Black Death. A week and a half ago Lily Mae started showing signs of a cold, and I caught it just a day later. We tried to bear with things for a while but neither of us was showing any improvement or getting any relief from a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. When I reached full-term last Wednesday, I had a bunch of celebrating planned but didn't feel up to doing anything at all. It kinda stunk. There was just SO much snot. When that snot started turning foul colors over the weekend, I knew we weren't going to be able to fight it off without help. Clark's immune system was starting to break down, too. Monday came and I gave my midwife a call reporting symptoms of a sinus infection. She agreed and gave me antibiotics. I took the little one to the doctor that afternoon and MY GOSH - she is SICK. She has RSV (her doc said I have it, too), a secondary bacterial infection in her lungs, and infections in both ears. Poor, poor kidlet. For feeling so terrible she sure tries to not let it get her down. She's such a trooper. Anyway, she got antibiotics for the bacterial stuff. Then Tuesday, Clark was knocked out cold and had to take the day off. He went to a doctor's clinic and found he had the start of some infections, and for Julee's protection they went ahead and gave him antibiotics to try to clear all the germs out of our house before she comes. So, we're a family full of germs and prescriptions, but we're all starting to show signs of improvement. This has been the first time I've gotten really sick this pregnancy - I had forgotten how absolutely miserable it is.

Anyway...I had an appointment with my midwife today. They don't standardly do exams there, but they will ask if you'd like to be checked. If you do, then they will - simple. I declined last week, but was just curious today. I'm 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, and Julee is incredibly low (like, "right there" low)! They think she'll be coming really soon. I'm not having labor contractions or anything, but the Braxton Hicks have been picking up over the past couple of days. I haven't gained weight in 3 weeks now, but Julee is still growing well and sounding great so there's no concern. The midwives over the past two visits have both predicted that she'll be around 6.5 pounds (there are 3 midwives at the practice, and I see all of them). If I make it another week, I don't think I'll want to get checked again. I know that I'm making progress and I have confidence that she will, in fact, come out one day. I don't need to know every measurement. ;)

Clark's response when we left the center? "4 centimeters, huh? I guess I need to paint the room tonight." Hahaha. 'Bout time. (He still didn't.) (Love you, honey bunches.)

I look really goofy, but LM's cute for sure! We've been going for some walks around the neighborhood to get that pelvis of mine nice and loosey-goosey.

The weather's been crazy nice here for weeks. Today it was in the mid-seventies and sunny. I wore a t-shirt and skirt with flip flops. How silly of me for thinking that it would actually feel like winter when Julee was born....

But really....we're ready for her to come. Emotionally, I'm nervous for sure, wondering how in the world I'm going to be able to be a mommy to TWO. On the other hand, I know we've got everything we really need for now and I'm excited for and looking forward to the birth, breastfeeding a new little nursling, and meeting my baby girl!! My guess is that this will be the last belly picture and pregnancy update, but only time will tell! :)

Big Belly.

Gliding into Mommyhood (again)

2012-01-24T17:27:00.000-05:00

This baby can officially come! Well...I would like our family to be a little healthier first, but today's big news is that my glider is finally finished!!

I found a used Dutailier glider on Craigslist when I was around 16 weeks pregnant or so. It had nasty, stained blue cushions that I intended on recovering whether I had a boy or a girl. I did the same for Lily Mae's room, but the glider I found for her was a much cheaper brand and man, you get what you pay for. I improvised on her chair's slipcover and had no clue what I was doing. It turned out ok (I never did finish the ottoman), but most importantly I learned a whole lot.

For this chair, I found my inspiration from none other than Pinterest. I loosely followed this tutorial for a glider slipcover (here is my pin). The designer's chair was very similar to mine, but as I worked I found some differences which meant I needed to do things a little differently.

Before - yuck.

After! Yay!

If you like this slipcover and would like to make one like I did, here are the things that are different between mine and the tutorial I used:

One of the snap straps at the top of the back cushion was missing. Instead of making little tube sleeves to cover them, I just made new straps using velcro that loop around the back of the frame. (I think doing that looks better than the tutorial, anyhow. Just my opinion.)
I like piping and wanted my chair to have it. I made the purple piping and pinned it between my layers before sewing.
The bottom cushion on my chair attached to the frame with ties, so I added ties to my cover. I didn't see this step mentioned in the tutorial.
The armrest cushions in the tutorial were rectangular, but mine are molded foam. Making a rectangular cover wasn't going to work, so I simply examined the cushions I had and tried to copy the pieces. I traced around the curves on the sides to make a pattern for those pieces before pinning it all together. Also, her cushions snapped right to the frame, while mine attached with two straps. I just left openings in my cover for the straps to come through and snapped them; I didn't bother making them pretty because they are barely visible anyhow.
The tutorial shows how to make or add pockets to the armrests. On her chair, the armrest frame is open, so her pockets are on the outside. As you can see, that wouldn't work on my chair, so I added pockets to the inside of the seat (and I love them). I lined them with purple but wanted a little bit of it to show, so I pulled some of it around to the front before finishing my seams.
My armrest cushions did have snaps on the bottom that fastened to the frame under the bottom cushions, and like in the tutorial, I just cut holes in my cover for the existing snaps to be accessible. I did finish the edges of those holes with a satin stitch before poking the snaps through, because the unfinished edges in the tutorial just gave me the willies (but that's just my preference).
I didn't like the ottoman cover in the tutorial, so I did mine differently. My ottoman definitely needed piping to match the chair, so my top and bottom pieces were equal shapes with the piping sewn in between. I did do a sleeve opening like in the tutorial, but with not quite as much overlap - only about 2 inches. I also added snaps to the opening just to ensure tightness of the cover after several months of use.

So there you have it! I'm so happy with how it turned out. We've still got a ton more to do in the room, but I'm making progress! Clark will be painting the walls a deep purple color as soon as he's feeling good again!

Say It With Me: FULL TERM!!

2012-01-18T22:01:00.002-05:00

This is so unreal!! WE MADE IT!

That's right, friends, I'm 37 weeks along today and have reached full-term in my pregnancy. I've been concerned about getting to this point since the day I found out I was pregnant, and now we're here! While I never doubted God's plan or that things would be fine now matter how they happened (or that he would never leave my side), I couldn't help but harbor some nervous feelings. But no more!! Even since yesterday morning, I've felt such relief. When I used to panic with every contraction not knowing if it was dilating me or not, now it just doesn't matter if it is or isn't! Dilate away!!

I'm still feeling really good in general. Lily Mae's been giving us quite a bit of trouble at night for the past couple of weeks - she's been having chronic tummyaches (doc said she's fine, medically) and she caught a cold a few days ago. She hasn't been able to sleep through the night in a while and I've been awake with her every time for normally 2-3 hours. All that to say: I'm exhausted. I know when this baby's born sleep will inevitably be little-to-none, but I'm feeling it wearing on me more now while pregnant than it will when I've got the new mommy adrenaline fighting my sleep battles for me. I'm also a little bit sick right now, too. Yuck.

Super flattering picture of us two sickies this afternoon.

Still no swelling, no stretch marks, and I actually haven't gained weight in 2 weeks, so that's totally cool with me. Julee's still growing just fine! It feels weird to not have gotten a shot today. You can't tell by this week's belly picture or even in person, but she has dropped. I'm not sure if she's still got more to go, but I can definitely tell that she's a lot lower, especially because something - either her head or her fists - are pressing on my inner groin ligaments causing me to double-over in pain! Ack! That never happened before now, that's for sure.

And OH, OH, OH!!! My friends threw me a surprise baby shower last Thursday!!!!! It was a total surprise and I was overwhelmed by their love and support for me. My friend Layna hosted it at our church with a "Bundle Puggle" gift theme. We have all the gear we need but had a big gap in warm, cozy newborn clothes since Lily Mae was a new baby in the summertime. Not anymore! Julee's closet is totally filled with the cutest and most cuddly clothes - she'll be a very comfy and stylin' kid. My friend Megan made awesome cupcakes and other friends brought yummy snacks. Not gonna lie - it was a little scary to be the center of attention and my red face could've put a lobster to shame, but it was a really wonderful night and I'm so very thankful to my friends for their encouragement (and to Clark to lying to me for weeks, haha).

No midwife news to report today because my appointment isn't until tomorrow. We've got some plans for our friend Leah to take some maternity pictures of us this weekend, and I don't expect to have to cancel. I think we've got at least another week to go! (But if I've learned anything, it's that this whole process is pretty unpredictable!)

Not a huge change from the past couple of weeks. Oh well!

36 Weeks - Exciting!

2012-01-12T00:02:00.001-05:00

Today is so exciting! I'm 36 weeks pregnant! One week to go before this baby's full-term!

I'm feeling pretty great and my anxiety is on the way out (finally). I think this kiddo's gonna stay cooking for at least another week and that just gives me so much peace.

My weight gain has slowed a little, so that's good. The bad news though is that the seam in my best-fitting pair of pants split last night and completely shattered my self-confidence (this was after tweeting earlier that day that all my pants were getting snug). I cried. So now I have no pants to wear other than one pair of dumpy old black lounge pants, and I can't bring myself to buy any new clothes just to wear for a couple of weeks. There's the tunic with leggings option, but the two tunics I have aren't quite long enough for my taste. Blah - you don't care about this stuff. Sorry for blabbing.

Complaints: I have lower back pain and my movement ability is that of a beached whale. Good things: no stretch marks, no swelling, minimal heartburn, and really everything is pretty peachy.

I've also been able to make some things! I've made a paci pouch, a diaper caddy, and a set of crib bumpers. Also, all of the orders I placed for "the essentials" have been delivered (and prepped, if needed), so that's all been very encouraging to have things start coming together. Expect a post soon with pictures of what I've made and links to the patterns I used, if any.

Lots of fun things happened today. First, I got my 21st and final 17-P injection to prevent preterm labor. It should get me through this last week before I'm full-term, and then it's Game ON. This babe could come anytime! The treatment was such a blessing. I'm sure that God providing this medication is the reason I've made it this far, and my nurse Shawna just made the entire process so pleasant. It was sad to say goodbye to her today, but she made me promise to send her pictures of little Julee after she makes her arrival.

Next, I had my 36-week midwife appointment which went swimmingly. I was given a packet of tips and tricks to get my body ready for labor! I expressed a little bit of concern when my midwife said to go ahead and start the techniques now, because I don't want them to be too effective too soon and go into labor this week! She understood and said I could wait until later this week or even after 37 weeks if that's what I wanted. So that's what I'll do. I don't need any more early bird babies. :P Oh yeah, and I wanted to mention that Julee is in perfect position for delivery! That really has helped me relax today, because I had been thinking she was a little bit transverse (sideways). There's very little chance that she's going to change positions significantly at this point, so she should be ready to just slip right out! (Yeah, right.) I've moved on to weekly appointments now and got to schedule the rest of them up through my due date. We'll see how many I get to keep!

Immediately after seeing my midwife I headed over to an OB for a quick visit. By SC law, in order to have an out-of-hospital birth, a mom must be seen and approved to do so by an OB-GYN. This particular doctor is very supportive of natural birth and is long-time friends with the midwives at the birth center. He is also the backup guy should anything go wrong and I need intervention at the hospital. He tested the normal stuff for me and the baby, reviewed my medical history, and then he signed off on the approval! Yippie!!

And after all the medical stuff was done for the day, we got to run some happy errands like consignment shopping for some gear (didn't find what we needed - boo), buying some new stretchy yoga pants (non-maternity so I can wear them later!), and picking up a few extra little things for the labor bag like headbands to hold back my hair while I'm pushing this baby out (!!!) and toiletries for my after-birth shower. I know they're pretty insignificant, but it was exciting to be getting things like that ready.

So here's this week's picture! My belly measured small again this week, but still growing!

35 Weeks & No Baby - Can You Believe It?

2012-01-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

I'm a couple days late posting this, but oh well. Life has been happening.

I reached 35 weeks on Wednesday and I didn't have a baby! This is very exciting. I'm now more pregnant than I've ever been before, seeing as I had already delivered Lily Mae by this time. As of today I've only got 12 more days until I reach full-term pregnancy! Half of the time that feels really fast and totally doable, while the other half of the time that seems like an eternity away and impossible to reach. I guess we'll all just have to sit back and see what happens.

I'm feeling pretty pregnant, whatever that means, but I think I'm fairing pretty well in comparison to the average 35-weeker. I'm just tired and not sleeping well, and my lower back hurts. Sitting on the floor with the kiddo makes my left leg fall asleep almost instantly, but lounging on the couch makes me light-headed. Catch 22. I get Braxton Hicks contractions a lot these days, and my anxiety skyrockets with each one. I can't help it. I don't get happy/sad mood swings or crying episodes, but by golly am I snippy. My belly growth rate has definitely slowed but my weight gain hasn't (and that makes me pretty frustrated - I'm already at the upper limit of my target gain range, so I guess I'll be going over). That just means I'm gaining elsewhere - blech. At least I'll make the rockin' world go 'round.

(Did anyone get that? Anyone? [crickets...])

Wanna hear good stuff? Of course you do!!

I have no swelling.
My blood pressure and Puggle's heart rate are stellar.
I only have one more injection (!!).
I have all Julee's cloth diapers, accessories for her co-sleeper (leg extensions and sheets), and enough clothes to get us by. We've got the essentials!
We put together her crib and took apart the guest bed that used to live in her room.
I've been finding some snippets of time to do some crafting for her.
I can still shave my legs.
I've made plans with one of my best friends Megan to get pedicures on January 18th when I reach 37 weeks... as a kind of celebration for making it to term. (I've never had a pedicure before and I'm a little nervous, but I think it will be fun with her!)
Lily Mae's bedtimes are going much better thanks to a new routine, and that's been a huge area of concern for me before Julee's arrival.
Did I mention there are ONLY 12 DAYS left until I'm full-term and Julee can safely be born?? Did I?! Unreal.

I like to call this my about-to-go-to-bed-but-just-remembered-to-take-the-belly-picture look. Blahhhh. Embarrassing. Oh, and I want a tan.

Updates, Short & Simple.

2011-12-30T11:59:00.000-05:00

A post you might like: short, bulleted updates. Enjoy!

My midwife appointment yesterday was easy-peasy. I'm doing well, Puggle's doing well, and we've only got one more biweekly appointment left before going to weeklies. My belly's measuring a little small but it's still growing so no one's concerned. (Can you believe my belly is smaller than it should be? I sure can't.)
I had my 19th injection yesterday. Only two more to go. I can't even explain what an easy process this treatment has been or how grateful I am that this medicine exists.
Lily Mae turned 18 months old on Tuesday! I owe it to her to write a separate post about her (and I will), but in short, she's just totally awesome.
We found out some good news at her Well-Baby visit on Wednesday: Lily Mae is finally over 20lbs! She weighed in at 20lb 12oz. She's still in the 5th percentile for weight, but get this: she measured 31 3/4" tall!! The nurse was so shocked at her growth that she re-measured her twice just to check. She jumped from the 5th to the 50th percentile since her 15-month visit. I thought she had been getting a lot taller but I didn't think it was anything unusual. The doc's very, very happy with her development in every area. I'm a happy mama! (Her measurements at 15 months were 18lb 2oz. and 29" tall.)
Lily Mae got a potty yesterday! No, she's not ready to potty train and I will NOT push her into it, but I've been told that having a potty around isn't a bad idea. It's used which totally skeeves me out, but I'll sanitize the crap out of it (heh heh) and I'm sure it will be fine.
I'm very excited about this weekend - it's the first weekend in literally about 3 months that we haven't had obligations or events to go to. I've dubbed it "Nesting Weekend." By Sunday night, the house will be clean. Every.Single.Room. Maybe not every single nook and cranny, but it will be a zillion times better than it is now. And yes, that really does excite me......the house is that bad that I can't wait to spend three days cleaning.
In just two short days since my anxiety went through the roof, I'm feeling better about things. I'm not sure what came over me. I mean, 3 weeks still isn't very long, but I've ordered the few things we really do need before she comes. The rest is just extra stuff that will get done as we have the time and money to do it. I ordered the rest of Julee's cloth diapers (yay!) and pulled the co-sleeper out of storage. The only things a baby really needs are diapers (check), milk (breastfeeding for the win), a place to sleep (check), and a few things to wear (still a bit of a gap there, but we'll get some stuff in the next few weeks). So really, we're kinda ready - no need to freak out. Yay! Her room will come together....sometime.....
Clark got promoted a couple weeks ago! He didn't just move up a title - he got boosted up like three levels. He's a Project Engineer now, meaning that he's got his own contracts, designs manages entire projects, and even has people working under him. I'm not meaning to boast, but I'm dang proud of him! He's worked really hard!!
I can't wait to post about Christmas! It's coming. Maybe I'll write something during one of my breaks from cleaning this weekend.
The Green Jelly Bean is going well! I've never posted about it here, so you might not even have any clue what I'm talking about. Add that to the list of things I need to blog about.

So there you have it! Some sweet and simple updates. Is anyone out there? Leave some comments for me!

34 Weeks - Are We Really This Far Along?

2011-12-28T23:41:00.000-05:00

I made it through Christmas!! I got to finish everything I planned to make as far as handmade gifts go, and I think they were well-received. Since Christmas Eve, I've gotten in bed before midnight every night and it has been SO nice!! I wish I could say that getting to bed earlier has gotten rid of all my achiness, but let's face it - the quality of my sleep isn't top-notch these days (but I'm still grateful for the rest). Christmas is my all-time favorite time of year, and I love to decorate and celebrate for a good, long time. This year we hardly decorated at all other than some strings of lights thrown on the bushes out front, our artificial tree that sat naked in the corner until Christmas Eve when it got some ornaments, and our stockings that hung on the mantle. On the 26th I was so ready for our house to be back to normal that we just took everything down and put it away. I've never taken down decorations that quickly, so I feel a little bit guilty.

At my last midwife appointment two weeks ago, I asked what would happen if I were 36 weeks and 6 days and went into labor - if they'd send me over to the hospital since I wasn't technically full-term yet. She said that they'd probably just let me stay at the birth center as long as everything was looking good. So ever since yesterday (33 weeks and 6 days) I've been constantly thinking, "three weeks from today I could be having my healthy baby girl in the birth center and I'd have to bring her home with me that day." It's gotten even worse today, since I'll actually be full-term in just three short weeks. The injections I get stay in my system for a while but wear off after about a week - hence the weekly doses. That said, once it clears out it does not mean that I *will* go into labor; some women who get these shots can even go to their due date or beyond. My last shot will be when I am 36 weeks along. My prediction? I think I'll deliver around 38 weeks, but who knows?

The point of all my blabbering?? I'm not ready and I'm kiiiinda panicking about it. We're looking at 3-6 weeks before this baby is in my arms (probably on the lesser end of that range) and we really don't have anything ready. Before Christmas I had plenty of other distractions and projects to work on, but now all I can think about is how little (read: nothing) we've done to prepare for #2 up to this point. Clark assures me that we're going to be fine, and while he's always right about this sort of thing it's still hard for me to grasp that we can pull it all together in time. There is some good news, though! Here are some positives:

The crib we ordered (for free!) was delivered today and is up in Julee's room. Still in the box, but it's here!
We picked out the paint color for the walls tonight.
I ordered the last of the fabric I'll need to complete all of the bedding and room projects.
I sorted through our short registry list for the essential items we'll need before her arrival, and I ordered them today.
I ordered some other necessary post-partum mama things that will just give me some peace of mind to know they're ready for me when I need them.

So in the three days after Christmas we have actually started to take some steps in the right direction. I've had our co-sleeper since I was about 10 weeks pregnant and little Puggle will be bunking with us for at least six weeks. Nothing in her room is essential to be completed by the day she's born, so that takes a lot of the pressure off - whew!

I'm feeling decent other than the same old whiney complaints. I had heartburn for the first time ever this afternoon and it left me laid out on the floor like a pitiful, pathetic wimp - seriously. But a few Tums later and I was back on my feet fiddling about town. I've got a midwife appointment and a shot tomorrow so maybe I'll post a little update then, too. For now, here's the picture!

33 Weeks and a Birthday

2011-12-22T01:17:00.001-05:00

My birthday, not Julee's, of course!

Yup, today's my birthday. I turned 27, and have thus moved out of my mid-twenties into my upper twenties. Goodbye, youth. I had a great birthday - thanks to everyone for your well wishes on Twitter, Facebook, through texts and calls, and to those of you who joined us for our Japanese steakhouse dinner. You all are awesome!

But anyway, I'm 33 weeks pregnant today! I know I have only done biweekly updates up to this point, but hey....as optimistic as I am about things, I'm not sure how far this pregnancy is going to end up going. I'll be doing weekly pictures from now on, since there is no telling how much longer I've got left. Plus, I felt really bad about last week's picture. People said I looked huge. People were shocked at the massive difference from my 30 week shot. I didn't feel very good about myself.

What you don't know is that Julee was hanging out very high in my belly that day, and that Clark made me laugh right before snapping the shutter (causing my belly to leap up). My belly looked quite a bit different in the picture than it normally did, in my opinion, but I didn't really care at that point. Now, I do. So here's a new picture for you, what I think is a little more accurate. Sure, it's still big, but she's sitting much lower today and I made Clark stop dancing behind the lens so I wouldn't laugh this time ;)

In other updates, I'm feeling pretty good. Three more shots left to go. Four weeks until I'm full term and get the all-clear to deliver at the birth center. I'm tired and my back is constantly killing me. My parents get here tomorrow, and Christmas is in four days!! Wahoo!!

32WeeksNoTimeToBlogAhhh

2011-12-14T23:16:00.000-05:00

Hi! This is short because I really have NO time to be blogging right now. I'd regret it if I failed to post my bi-weekly update, though, so my fingers are gonna fly just to get something out there.

Things are Ca-Ra-Zay around here. I get anxious about this stage of my pregnancy, but as soon as I do, my attention is diverted to one of the other bajillion things I have going on. There are events and parties to go to, gifts to make, ministries to serve in.... I definitely took on too much this month but, by golly, I'm going to do my best to do as much as I can without killing myself. It's better for me in the long run as I won't be spending these next couple of weeks stressing about little Puggle.

I got another shot today which went just fine, and I only have four more to go! I also had a midwife appointment this afternoon and things are looking perfect. Julee's heart rate was excellent and my belly measured smallish but still great. I got my "game plan" in case something should happen while we're away from home on Christmas day, but I doubt anything will happen. She's head down and has been for a while now - hopefully she'll stay put. I'm feeling pretty decent but definitely have some "sinking spells" every single day around mid-morning when I can barely keep my eyes open. Thankfully, Lily Mae is understanding and lets me lay on the couch while she plays.

Well, that's about all I've got time for tonight. Gotta get to work!!

(Can you believe that my belly measured on the small side?!? Sure doesn't look that way.... especially compared to two weeks ago! Sheesh!)

Treinta

2011-11-30T21:55:00.001-05:00

I made it to thirty weeks! And with that has come a flood of anxiety, as expected. Fortunately I've been keeping very busy, so I haven't had much opportunity to dwell on things. This is the week that things started happening when I was pregnant with Lily Mae, so I can pretty much assume that the next six/seven weeks might keep me on my toes a little until I'm full term and in the clear.

I had a midwife appointment today and everything looked great. My belly is measuring just fine, Julee sounded like she was having fun in there, and things are just moving right along and no one other than me has any concerns about this pregnancy. After tomorrow I will only have six more progesterone injections - I can't believe how simple and effective this preventative procedure really is. My glucose results came back awesome (81) and I don't have any anemia. Weight gain is doing well and I should end up right around my "target". No swelling, blood pressure's perfect...from a health perspective things couldn't be better. I'm a very lucky gal.

I went out to dinner a few nights ago and the hostess sincerely asked me if I would fit in a booth. She was totally serious (and I was emotionally crushed).

As great as things are going, pregnancy is beginning to take its toll on me I think. I'm achy. I'm snippy. I'm tired. I'm sensitive, but not in a you-could-make-me-cry-instantly kind of way. No...it's more of a say-the-wrong-thing-to-me-and-I'll-bite-your-head-off way. I'm aware of it but my self control seems to have stayed behind with my second trimester. So, if I give you some 'tude, just know that I don't mean it. It's just that this three pound little girl is sucking all the blood from my brain and grace from my soul. Honest.

30 down, 10 to go. My bet is that I'll make it to term but not to my due date. I'm anticipating having about 8 weeks left (I hope to be ready by early January). Pressing onward!

Oh, Belly!

2011-11-16T23:41:00.001-05:00

I was just going through the early pictures and saw one at 14 weeks in the same shirt. Just thought it was funny and that I'd share :)

Two Trimesters Down

2011-11-16T22:24:00.001-05:00

Aloha from the third trimester! I can't believe I'm already this far along.

No, seriously. I can't believe it. Time has flown. I've done almost nothing to prepare for this baby yet - details later. I woke up today feeling a little down, actually. A little weighed down with anxiety about this 28-week milestone. This is the trimester that everything fell apart during my first pregnancy, and while you know everything turned out fine, it easily could have not. I went into preterm labor and was hospitalized at 31 weeks - only 3 short weeks from where I am now. I started the day today feeling pretty burdened with that fear.

But - wouldntcha-know - God lifted my anxiety, reminded me I had nothing to be afraid of, and after a couple hours with my sweet, healthy little girl I remembered that it's all in His hands anyway. I doubt I'll have any complications this time, but even if I do, God was right by my side the first time and I have complete faith that he'd be right there again. This time, though, I get to have injections that at 97% effective at preventing spontaneous preterm labor and I also have the experience to know the early symptoms (of which I have none right now thankyouverymuch).

There's nothing really new from the last update. I'm still having a little back pain, not as much belly tenderness, and about the same pathetic amount of energy. Oh, but my belly is feeling less tight, so that's good! It's getting pretty easy to feel what position Julee's in - she mostly hangs out head down with her feet way up high on my right side, but today she decided she wanted to lay down sideways for a while. The nurse who gives me my shots said my belly even looked a lot different than it did last week thanks to the change in position. We've still got several more weeks before Julee needs to go ahead and decide how she's going to be for birth (but she'd better decide to be head down and anterior or we're gonna have to have a talking-to when she gets out). Did I mention that Lily Mae was posterior (face-up)? It was no fun for either of us, and I'm really hoping to not have to do that again. You hear that, Julee??

Lily Mae has been a little excited about bellies lately :)

Something that really needs to be addressed soon is the whole "preparing for baby" issue. Clark and I have decided on a really fun theme for her room, but nothing exists for it in the retail world so we've got to create it all ourselves. I came up with a color scheme and found a huge duvet cover at a yard sale last weekend in the exact fabric I wanted to buy, so I scored that for just $5! Win! Then tonight I made my second fabric purchase for the window panels and crib skirt, and also picked up some crib bumper pads. (There have recently been recommendations to not ever use bumpers in hopes to reduce the risk of SIDS, so you don't have to inform me. We're gonna use 'em. We follow all the other "rules" to reduce the risk such as exclusively breastfeeding, no blankets or stuffed animals, a ceiling fan, and laying the baby on her back to sleep. But my gosh - if Lily Mae didn't have bumpers in her crib I'm completely certain she would have really injured herself by now. I'm also aware that there are breathable bumpers, so you don't have to tell me that either.) I made my own bumpers from scratch last time and stuffed them with polyfil and they totally didn't keep their shape at all. I'm excited that these bumper pads are safer, easier to wash, and will last. Cool.

We still have a mile-long list of things to do and an even longer one of things to buy. We're in pretty good shape with the little stuff but still have some big things to get. Like, I don't know.....maybe a place for her to sleep. (Thankfully, I did get a great deal on the co-sleeper I wanted several months back, so Julee's not entirely homeless for the first couple months, anyway.) I'm pretty overwhelmed, but I know it will all get done. Eventually. Maybe. There are still a couple things I never got around to in LM's room - making her hamper and recovering the ottoman. Ah well, so it goes. Fingers crossed that by my next update I'll have some progress to report in that realm. Send your creative vibes my way!

Photo Blog: Pumpkin Painting

2011-11-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

Still pluggin' away at all the photos! Here's part two of our Halloween set. Remember the day Lily Mae picked her pumpkins? Well later that night she got to decorate them! Obviously she's not capable of carving, and I wasn't about to decorate the pumpkins by myself. So, I did a little Pinterest search for toddler pumpkin decorating and came across this post. I thought it was a great idea that had potential to maybe even look kinda decent on our porch. (Most of the toddler ideas I found involved giving the toddler a bunch of stickers and letting them go to town - no, thanks.)

The general steps are: cover an area of the pumpkin with painter's tape. Draw your design and then cut and remove the excess, being careful not to cut into the skin of the pumpkin. Then smother the whole thing in paint and peel off the tape while the paint is still wet. Let 'em dry and seal the paint with spray gloss so they won't smear due to any wetness outside.

Her quasi-blank squash canvases
The Arteest
Carefully designing her masterpiece

(Not gonna lie - this is what she looked like most of the time. She got scared when she saw her hands turn blue.)
Just call her Van Gogh.
Her finished collection. Not available for purchase. This art is mine, all mine!
I actually think they turned out wonderfully, and she had fun doing it - kind of. I thought she would love playing in the paint but she did actually get pretty freaked out when she saw her weird-colored hands. I didn't spray seal the paint on the pumpkins when they dried because it was the night before Halloween and I didn't really care if they lasted beyond the next day. Next up...the big night and costumes!

Photo Blog: Pumpkin Picking 2011

2011-11-07T22:51:00.001-05:00

I have taken hundreds of pictures in the past few weeks and have been working on them every chance I get - whew! I've been up to my neck in post-processing during almost every nap and after every bedtime. I've got just a couple more events to work through and then I'll be caught up (just in time for Thanksgiving family festivities, of course).

Anywho, the day before Halloween we were finally able to head out to pick out pumpkins at the farmer's market. I had so wanted to take Lily Mae to a real pumpkin patch this year, but it was far away and admission was pretty steep for us parents. She'll still be free next year so we'll take her then when she can enjoy more of the activities they have to offer like the hay maze and obstacle courses. Early in October this particular market had literally dozens of pumpkin mountains, but of course pickings were pretty slim the day before the big holiday. Good thing our little toddler didn't know - she had a wonderful time! It was a crisp day and she just had a total blast ~~falling down~~ running around in the grass and climbing all over the pumpkins. Enjoy the pictures!

Photo Blog: Go Tigers!

2011-11-05T14:51:00.002-04:00

For Clark's birthday, I arranged to take the family to the Clemson vs. NC game a few weekends ago. It was Lily Mae's first game and we all had a wonderful time (doesn't hurt that they won, either)! Check out all the orange and purple cuteness!

Gooooo Tigers!

The 26 Weeker

2011-11-03T01:59:00.000-04:00

As I enter into the final two weeks of the second trimester, I'm beginning to feel the familiar aches and pains of pregnancy I remember from last time. However, a mere five weeks from now will bring me to Week 31...the week I went into preterm labor with Lily Mae. Don't think for a second that I've forgotten, or that I'm miraculously strong enough to not be worried about it. You'd be wrong.

My whole belly is feeling stretched, which obviously is completely true. So what I mean to say is that I just feel like it's as big as it can go; my skin's tight all the time, my ~~turkey thermometer~~ belly button popped out and looks especially goofy, and I can't get full breaths - not because Puggle's taking up too much room in there, but because my skin's just so tight that it won't stretch out enough for the air. I bet in twelve or so weeks I'll look back at this post and roll on the floor laughing at myself. No...literally rolling...since I'll be too round to be able to pick myself up after I fall out of my chair. Someone like Violet Bearegarde comes to mind. ("She has to be squeezed immediately before she explodes...it's a fairly simple operation.")

Not only is my belly tight and large, but it's starting to get a bit sore on the inside. Julee is one.active.baby. She kicks me all day and all night, and my midsection is getting tender. Lily Mae was the same way - I can remember being notably more tired during times when she'd karate chop my insides for hours. I tried explaining it to Clark this way, now that I have the experience to support the analogy: if you were sitting down - just sitting and doing nothing else - but you had to hold a squirming, kicking, thrashing toddler in your lap and you couldn't put them down even for one second, you'd be physically exhausted after just a few hours. Heck, you'd be tired after a few minutes, probably. All that to say: it's tiring carrying around a squirming, kicking kid, whether you hold them on the outside or the inside.

My back is also starting to ache, but I have a confession to make: I'm sure it has less to do with the pregnancy than it does with not being able to crack it. Yes, I know it's bad and I'm sure to get crippling arthritis and wear down my cartilage and so on, but I am a compulsive back-cracker with no intention to stop. I sleep better at night when I twist my spine into knots and hear the satisfying crackle of internal bubble wrap. It feels.SO.good. But thanks to Big Tight Belly Syndrome, I can't twist enough from side to side anymore to make it happen. I can't physically crack my back anymore. Oh, but do I ever remember the first back crack a few days postpartum from Lily Mae - like being reunited with an old friend.

Dear Back Crack,

I look forward to the day we'll meet again. You are dearly missed.

Your Friend, Preggo

I've gained 20 pounds, which is right on target for where I need to be now and where I need to go. Still, seeing that number go up all the time just makes me feel kinda....huge.

And the only other thing worth mentioning related to pregnancy is that I got my eleventh injection today! I'm over halfway there! The shots are still virtually painless for me so I think they're totally awesome. I won't mind them at all for any future pregnancies, either (I'll have to get them for every future kid). That said, it's cool that I've passed the halfway point; even though they don't really hurt it's not like I get some sort of sick pleasure out of being shot up in the bum every week. :)

I have a boatload of pictures and updates to share from the past couple of weeks, but since they're not pregnancy-specific I'll save them for separate posts. We still haven't done a single thing to prepare Julee's room, but I did finally decide on a fun theme with Clark's help. (I know, I know...."Stop blabbing, Jess, and just post the picture!"....Ok, fine.) :P

(Yeah, I think the bump looks kinda weird, too.)

Rock-A-Bye-Bye, Baby: Nights 7 through 10

2011-11-03T00:36:00.001-04:00

Night 7: Poor kiddo was sick and had a fever. I rocked her only for 10 minutes, but she was totally knocked out after a dose of Motrin. I'm glad it didn't take long, but I'm not exactly pleased with the reason.

Night 8: Well, tonight was different than last night. Lily Mae's fever is gone which I'm happy about, but she just wasn't going to sleep. I had to pick her up out of her crib to rock her twice, meaning I rocked her a total of three times. It took about 55 minutes to get her to finally fall asleep. Pretty discouraging, but I'm going to keep sticking to my plan.

Night 9: She went down really easily. She was very tired and bedtime was a little later than usual. I rocked her for 10 minutes during which I accidentally let her fall asleep. She stayed zonked out when I put her down, so the whole process took about 10 minutes total and only one time rocking her.

Night 10: It wasn't as easy as last night (seems consistency is a little hard to come by - there are a lot of variables in the equation). I had to get her out of her crib after the first time I tried to put her down. So I rocked her two separate times and it took about 30 minutes total.

So after the first 10 nights of this transitional period, it's going pretty much the way I thought it would. There hasn't been a miracle change, but on average the bedtime process is improving in the ways I want. I'm having to rock her for a lesser amount of time and she's falling asleep in her crib instead of cuddled up with me in the glider. We're moving in a positive direction so I'm going to try to keep a good attitude. Changing a baby's sleep habits after 16 months isn't going to happen overnight (heh. See what I did there?) but with nurturing consistency I think it will happen in time. I'm just fortunate to have such an easy kid to begin with - I can't imagine having to make this transition with a high-maintenance or stubborn kiddo.

I'll update on our progress from time to time, but I won't keep doing nightly summaries. If it's been a while and you want to know how it's going, please let me know!

Rock-A-Bye-Bye, Baby: Nights #4, 5, and 6

2011-10-29T22:57:00.000-04:00

Don't know what this about? You can read this post first if you'd like to get in the loop.

Night 4: Rocked her for 11 minutes after lights out, then kept a hand on her back in her crib for a few minutes. Took less than 15 minutes total! Definitely went well! I should note, though, that tonight's bedtime was a little later than usual and she was very tired. She also could have even been asleep (instead of drowsy) before I even put her down in her bed, but it was hard to tell. All I know is that once I put her down, she didn't wake back up!

Night 5: This was a really strange night! It still went alright, but Lily Mae gave me some really weird behavior. When I started rocking her she had a very difficult time settling down and showed signs of a mild tummy ache. That's kind of normal for her at bedtime and it passes, but the strangest thing was with her paci. She only gets her paci for sleeping in her crib, and my plan is to nix that when she turns 18 months old in December. But tonight? She didn't want it. She kept giving it to me, spitting it out, and dropping it; it was a big distraction. Every time she gave it to me I just kept it for a few minutes until she'd ask for it back, but the whole random thing was totally keeping her from settling down. Even though she was still pretty awake, I tried putting her down after rocking her for 20 minutes, and she stayed down! It was almost like she was waiting for me to put her in her bed before she fell asleep. She even drifted off without her paci, but ended up grabbing it again after a few minutes. Tonight was just weird. I wasn't expecting this whole paci business so I didn't really know how to handle that and this bedtime transition. So Lily Mae, I know you want to go to bed like a big girl, but Mommy apparently can only handle one change at a time. It all took about 25 minutes total tonight and only one time rocking her, which still isn't bad in my book!

Night 6: No progress (or backtracking) to report, but no strange behavior like last night either, so that's a plus. I rocked her for 10 minutes but she wasn't really settling down. I chose to put her in her bed anyway in case that was what she was needing, but it wasn't. We kind of battled back and forth in her crib for 5 minutes before I accepted that it wasn't working and went back to rocking. We sat for another 8 minutes and she did finally surrender to sleepiness, and after 4 more minutes in her crib she fell asleep. So 27 minutes total and two times rocking her. Pretty much on par for the course, but I do hope we make another step forward soon.

Rock-A-Bye-Bye, Baby: Night #3

2011-10-26T22:52:00.002-04:00

Don't know what I'm doing? You can read this post first if you'd like.

I'm still sticking to the plan and it's going well. Tonight went much like last night did - no significant improvement to report. But nothing bad, either, so I've got no complaints. One night at a time :)

Here's what happened:
Lights out, then rocked her for 10 minutes. I thought if I rocked her just a little longer than I did last night that I'd have better luck.
She did well at first in her crib and I actually thought she might just stay down, but after 5 minutes she sat up and asked for me.
When I got her back to the glider, she let me know that her tummy was hurting just a little bit, so it took a little more rocking and cuddling to help her feel better and settle down. But still I only rocked her a second time for 12 minutes.
After 3 minutes in her crib, she had fallen asleep peacefully.

So only 30 minutes total! Still it's not where I want to be, but I'm really liking that bedtime is already not taking as long as it was just a few short nights ago. I may wait to post another update for a few days and summarize the progress, and I won't be linking up the updates on Facebook. So if you're interested to know how it's going, keep coming back to the site to check up (or subscribe with a reader)!

Rock-a-Bye-Bye Baby, Night #2

2011-10-25T23:32:00.000-04:00

Don't know what this is all about? Read this first.

Night #2 went really well! Here's how it went down:

Lights off, then I rocked her for 5 minutes and put her down.
Gave her a backrub for 5 minutes but she squirmed herself back awake and wanted me to get her.
I rocked her for another 10 minutes as it was a little more difficult to get her to settle down, but then I put her back in her crib.
Rubbed her back for another 5 minutes, and then - wouldn't ya know - she fell asleep!

It took 25 minutes to get her down from lights out, and I only had to rock her twice. It's been over an hour and she's still soundly snoozing. Tonight could have been a fluke so I'm by no means suggesting she's actually adjusting at this rate. But it sure was nice to get her down in almost half the time as last night! I'm looking forward to this process (for now, anyway).

Lily Mae, Social Networker

2011-10-25T13:11:00.002-04:00

I've learned that Lily Mae will stay awake on car rides if she has a movie to watch on my phone, and that saves nap time for the day - totally worth it. If she falls asleep in the car, even for ten minutes, she will not go down for a nap that day at ALL. So she gets to watch her movies and I don't feel bad about it at all.

This afternoon, I set up Veggietales and handed her my phone. We pulled into the garage just in time for me to notice that she had stopped her movie and was doing something else: typing (correctly, mind you, holding the phone and using both thumbs). I don't know exactly her means to get there, but mostly likely she had gone to my weather app, clicked on some kind of 'search' link that took her to Safari, and then managed to share the link through Twitter. But who shares a link without an explanation? So of course she typed out a little caption. I caught her just as she was sending the tweet. I might've been able to stop her, but why would I?

Ladies and gents, I present Lily Mae's first tweet:

So Long, Rock-a-Bye Baby

2011-10-25T00:06:00.000-04:00

It's not a secret, and I'm not embarrassed about it: Lily Mae still gets rocked to sleep every night. Whatever judgements may be associated with being attachment parents I guess we'll have to live with, but that's our style and it's worked out wonderfully for our family. We've never put our baby on a schedule of any kind, but instead prefer to respond to the needs she communicates to us; doing so has developed a great and effective language between us as parents and her as a non-verbal kid. We've never done the cry-it-out method - it's not for us. We don't believe that infants have the ability to manipulate; we believe that if they are crying or expressing discontentment, that there is a problem that needs to be responded to. Because we respond to her cues, Lily Mae trusts us to be there for her if she ever needs anything. Instead of feeling the need to cling to us constantly, Lily Mae seems to have the boldness to explore the world on her own, knowing that we'll be there for her to help if she gets into trouble. Different things work for different families - this is what works for us.

So, back to the sleeping thing. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding, and I wish I were still able to do it now. My milk supply dropped when I got pregnant and Lily Mae self-weaned because of it at just over 13 months. Up to that point, I had nursed her to sleep every night in our glider, so that's what she had become accustomed to and how she felt most comfortable and safe. Three months later, I'm still rocking her to sleep at bedtime and naps and it can be quite a long process - a process I'm getting a little weary of and nervous about having to continue once I have a new baby in the house. It's a process that is manageable for naps at just a few minutes, but can run upwards of an hour or more at night. The need for a change has come, and she's a toddler now and can totally handle it.

The Goal: just to not have to rock her. I don't feel the need to put her in her crib wide awake, turn off the lights, and leave her to tuck herself in and fall asleep by herself - my ideal night would be to do our normal bedtime routine, read her a quiet story, turn off the lights, and rub her back in her crib for a few minutes until she drifts off. I have no desire to make her do it all on her own... I do enjoy putting her to bed, after all. I just can't afford the time it takes for our current process. Clark is away for work this week, so it's the perfect time to begin making the change (I expect that the first few nights could take quite a while, so this way it won't be cutting into valuable quality time with my love). Tonight we started our bedtime transition experiment, and I'll document my methods in case I need to reference them for future kidlets or in case someone wants to try something similar.

The Plan: to start, I will rock her until she is drowsy, but not asleep. I'll lay her down in her crib and pat her back until she falls asleep in there. If she starts to wake back up and asks for me (by reaching or fussing), I will respond and rock her for just a few more minutes before putting her down again. I'll do this until she gets tired enough to fall asleep while in her crib. The theory is that after several nights of this, she will learn that her crib is a safe and cozy place to fall asleep. My hope is that after several days the number of times I need to pick her back up and rock her again will drop, and I will only need to rock her once for a few minutes before laying her down and she will go to sleep with no fussing. After that is established, I will attempt phase two, which involves reducing the rocking from a few minutes to none at all and just laying her down with a loving backrub. I'm expecting that the transition will take 2-3 weeks, but maybe I'll be luckier than that. I think this first week will be the hardest since it's a totally new way to fall asleep for her.

I was originally going to include a summary of every night in this post, but you see I'm long-winded. I'll just include what happened tonight, and link up subsequent nights as they happen.

Night 1: went better than I thought it would - took a total of around 45 minutes from lights out. I rocked her for 10 minutes before patting her back in her crib. She reached up for me a few minutes in, so I rocked her for another 5 minutes. I rubbed her back in her crib for 10-15 minutes but she wasn't falling asleep. I rocked her once more for 10 minutes until drowsy again, put her down, and she drifted off after 3 minutes. It was more work getting up and down so much, but it still took less time than rocking her completely to sleep. Off to a good start!

Night 2
Night 3
Nights 4, 5, & 6

Viability!

2011-10-19T23:29:00.000-04:00

Viability is the ability of a thing (a living organism, an artificial system, an idea, etc.) to maintain itself or recover its potentialities. And more specifically, fetal viability refers to the ability of a fetus to survive outside of the uterus without artificial support. (wikipedia)

Fetal viability is attained at 24 weeks gestation, which I reached today! (Some medical minds believe it has more to do with the baby's weight, but since there's no way to know what that is for sure, I'm going with the popular milestone.) So hip, hip, horray!! I can't believe that if Julee were born today, at just over one pound, that good medical care would make it possible for her to survive. It's the presence of that hope that is exciting.

I'm still feeling wonderful about 99% of the time. I've been having some moments every now and then where I'm starting to feel a little fatigued, but I'm sure that has everything to do with me staying up too late working on my business launch. I had an appointment with the midwife today and got my belly measured for the first time this pregnancy - 23 cm which was right where it should be. My weight gain is on target, all my vitals are great, and Julee's heartbeat is still going strong. The midwife was very happy and gave me the all-clear for another four weeks. I'll have my glucose screening (yummy) at my next appointment at 28 weeks. After that, we go to every-two-week appointments (we're that close, already??)

We still haven't done a single thing for the baby's room. Probably should get on that sometime. But Friday we're headed to Clemson for a game, so we won't be doing any work this weekend, that's for sure! Before we leave, I'll get my ninth progesterone injection. I've gotta admit, they really aren't bad AT ALL. I haven't experienced any increase of soreness like I thought I might, and even getting the shots still doesn't really hurt. I'm so thankful that God has given doctors wisdom about preventing preterm labor and that he's blessed us with insurance and resources to be able to get the shots! I am putting a lot of confidence in these shots working to keep Julee in my belly until she's fully developed and able to come home with us right after she's born.

In small group last night we were talking about things we were "waiting" on God to provide for us, in an attempt to bring to light any honest shortcomings of our faith. Then we had to share what that period of waiting was bringing out of our character. For example, let's say you're waiting for God to provide a new job for you. During that time of waiting, you might experience frustration or even anger at God for not answering when/how you want him to. (Not that those feelings would at all be justified, or be an example of the faith we should have, but let's be honest - we've probably all felt that way sometimes when we lose our focus.) I shared that I was waiting for God to get me to a full-term pregnancy, but that I have full confidence that he can and likely will do that this time. The waiting, for me, is not so much impatience as it is just living in anticipation for him to do something really, really great, and I'm excited to be a part of his mighty work. Just thought I'd share ;)

Here's the belly picture!

And Oh!! I got a new (to me) car!! A 2009 VW Tiguan....aka a grown-up version of my Rabbit, which I really love. It's got plenty of room for us all including Puggle (and maybe even for #3 in a couple more years) and it has a turbo so, you know....I'm a happy mama. And we got a fantastic deal on it, so Clark's a happy papa, too :)

Short Preggo Update: 22 Weeks

2011-10-05T23:48:00.000-04:00

Hi there! There's really not much to report since my last update (it was two weeks ago already, really?!?). I'm feeling well, getting rounder, and still forgetting I'm pregnant except when Julee kicks me or I get my weekly progress email from BabyCenter. So all is going well!

This has got to be my shortest post ever!

Lily Mae: 15 Months Old!

2011-09-28T16:43:00.000-04:00

So what if I've never done an update on Lily Mae - ever. You guys forgive me, right?

She's the best kid there ever was, seriously. I could brag about her all day long, but the truth is that I do know that I'm tremendously blessed. Lily Mae is very flexible, laid back, and has been called by many "the happiest baby [they've] ever seen." And that's pretty true! She's a solid sleeper, a great eater, a friendly playmate, and has an all-around attractive personality. We really hit the jackpot when she came along! (Which makes me nervous about little Julee....we can't possibly be that lucky twice, right?)

Now, I'm sorry if I sound like I'm gloating. I know the majority of babies and toddlers have their share of issues, some bigger than others, and many moms and dads of difficult babies have a very hard time adjusting to parenthood. I can't stress enough my thankfulness that she is so easy to take care of, and I don't take it for granted. She may hit a stage, maybe even soon, where my life of peaches and cream is over and I start being truly challenged. So don't resent me for having an easy baby...everyone has their trials at some point. We've just had a reasonably easy journey up to this point.

So that's Lily Mae in a nutshell, since I haven't ever mentioned much on the blog about her personality before. Now to some details about the here and now...15 months old!

Lily Mae with Aunt Bonnie at the Renn Fest

The biggest development recently has been that she's walking! She took her first steps to greet Clark after he came home from band practice one night when she was about 14 months. Since then she's been practicing diligently and though she still tumbles from time to time, I'd call her a "walker" now. She definitely prefers using her two little feet to get to where she wants to go except for when someone's chasing her. Crawling is just way faster for her in those instances, and being chased is one of her favorite games. ("I'm gonna get you......." "Ahhhhhh!!!")

Stomping around.

She had her Well Baby checkup yesterday and her doctor was very pleased with her development. She's very petite, weighing in at just 18 lbs 2 oz (just below the 5th percentile) and measuring 29" tall (10th percentile), but she's staying on the same growth curve she's been on since birth. Lily Mae is a totally healthy little girl!

LM's first pony ride at the Maryland Renn Fest! She loved it!! (sorry for the portrait view)

The kid babbles quite a lot and she's definitely not quiet or shy to "speak," but she still doesn't say many words. We're up to two now: bye-bye (complete with a wave) and hello (but only when she's holding a phone...oops). I'd love for her to say mommy and daddy, but Clark and I really have a hard time remembering to call each other that in front of her. Probably has everything to do with why she doesn't do it either.

She's moved up to the 1 year old walker classroom at church and LOVES it. Maybe it's that she's in there with her friends, maybe it's that the toys are way cool - either way, it's so nice to pick her up after the service after she's had a really great time. I was very resistant to move her up from the nursery because I was sure she wasn't ready yet. Mommy learned something new!

Lily Mae eats. And eats. And eats. I don't understand how her little tummy can hold all the food that she puts down - many times she eats an even bigger meal than I do! Breakfast usually looks like a whole banana, a whole container of yogurt, a handful of cheerios, and a cup of milk. Lunch is some sort of fruit, a veggie (favorites are beans, carrots, and peas), a whole stick of string cheese, a mini nutrigrain bar, and diluted juice or milk. Dinner is typically the smallest meal of the day, but she can still wolf down a whole plate of pasta with no problem. We're not too big on snacks when we're at home, but she knows how to let me know she wants one (she gets crackers or something). Many of you know I spent over half my life as a strict vegetarian but in recent years I've incorporated white-meat chicken into my diet by Clark's request. Clark and I have both tried (and honestly, I really have tried) to give LM chicken and meat, but she just outright refuses it. We'll keep trying, but given my background, I'm not ever going to push it. If she grows up never wanting to eat it, that's perfectly fine with me - I'll just be sure to get her protein and iron in other ways. The only other food she's ever refused are green beans, not that I blame her. And the only other notable thing is about eggs - she's got some kind of sensitivity to them. Oh boy, does she love to eat them; she's had them twice - once at about 10 months and then again at around 13 months. Both times, as much as she's loved munching on them, they've given her horrible, awful, terrible tummy aches and they were.....complicated.....coming out. I've been hesitant to try again and her doctor says to just keep waiting for a while longer. She doesn't seem to have a problem eating things that are prepared with eggs, but gosh.....eating them straight really causes problems.

Favorite activities include putting blocks in a bucket, hammering pegs on her wood block, talking on the phone - either a real one or just play, cuddling with Bob the Tomato, getting chased, climbing the stairs and up on the fireplace ledge, watching Veggietales, being tickled and thrown high in the air, coloring with crayons (gotta get some of those color wonder markers!), reading books, giving kisses, and playing peekaboo. She plays by herself super well but really enjoys having someone to play with. I can't complain, I love playing with her!

At her doctor's appointment

She's still wearing 12M clothes, but I think she's ready to move up to 18M size for her new fall clothes. One benefit of having a really small kid is that she doesn't outgrow clothes as quickly as other babies would! She's been able to wear her current clothes from late spring up until now, and she'll only have to stop wearing them because they're not warm enough for autumn (whenever it gets here....Come on, crisp weather!). I promised her that when she started walking I'd get her some good shoes, so we got her some really cute Robeez mary janes. She still goes barefoot all the time, though. Really, I bought them for the cooler weather when bare feet aren't an option. We got a size up from what fits her right now so that they'd last a really long time and I'm sure they will. Her feet measured a size 3 at Stride Rite, but the shoes we bought for her are 6-12M and are huge.

New shoes!

So...I think that just about covers everything! Since I've been finding some free time to blog lately, I hope to do more regular updates :)

Halfway to 40 Weeks!

2011-09-21T23:00:00.002-04:00

I made it 20 weeks! I know all my posting lately has probably worn your poor eyes out, so I'll make it short and sweet. Things are still going really well, I'm gaining weight (up a total of 8 pounds now), and I'm off my Zofran without any residual nausea! The shots are going well and aren't very painful. Just had my 5th one today, 15 more to go. Puggle - er, I mean Julee - is kicking up a storm and likes to make sure I remember she's in there. Without those kicks, I think I could forget I'm pregnant a lot of the time.

I've started brainstorming ideas for Julee's room which is exciting. I had a room for a boy all picked out, because like I said yesterday, I really was so sure Puggle was a boy! I'm going to keep the same general idea for a girl but with some variations. I can't share with you just yet, because my friend Christy pointed out a while back that I never even shared what I did for Lily Mae's room! So, first things first....I'm not going to share the new baby's room until I share the older one's.

Now that I'm 5 months preggers, it's time to start getting down to business to get prepared for #2. Especially since she's a girl, we hardly need anything which is really great. But there are still a few things that we need: mostly big ticket items like a new crib and dresser. I scored a really great Dutailier gilder last weekend at a yard sale for only 100 bones. It's blue and needs to be recovered, but I would have probably made a matching slipcover no matter what glider I got. (I wanted a better glider this time because a.) my $30 Craigslist find from last time squeaks & has no armrest pads and b.) I didn't realize how much time I would spend in it. A nice glider is well worth the investment - wish I would have known the first time around.) Cloth diapers are amazingly awesome and the two girls will be able to share the same diapers, and while I won't need to double my stash I will still need more than I have now. Thankfully, I'll really benefit from owning my own diaper store. ;) The biggest issue really is a matter of transportation: I need new wheels. Two car seats will fit into my car's backseat, no problem, but my husband's legs won't then fit up front. Not to mention we'll need some additional cargo room in the back; a small SUV is the direction we're headed I'm afraid. I know what I'd love - we'll just have to go on a test drive, do some measurements, and see if it will be a good fit for our growing family. So these few financial bits are on the table for us to figure out soon. Sigh. I wish everything I needed was free.

Here's this week's belly picture!

And just for kicks, here's a comparison of my 20 week belly with Lily Mae:
Oh gosh, what a terrible smile. I'm kind of embarrassed. Direct your attention to the belly! I don't see much difference. What do you think?

Quite a Surprise!

2011-09-21T00:10:00.002-04:00

The short story: The ultrasound went great today!

I woke up this morning with much anticipation and anxiety, having to wait what seemed like all day for my appointments. Lily Mae and I enjoyed a nice lunch with Clark before heading to the first appointment, our ultrasound. They didn't take us on time (when do doctor's ever do that, anyway) which caused me a little more stress because it meant I was going to be late to my next appointment as well. Then when we finally got taken back to the room, I had a different technician than I was expecting, and she acted as if she hadn't even so much as glanced at my file before starting. She asked me things like if it was my first sonogram at the office (no, this is my third...) and why they tested for certain things like cervical length at my earlier appointments (um...preterm labor...). Anyway, she was not very friendly and did absolutely nothing to calm my shaky nerves. Things did get better though, thanks to Lily Mae's goofy personality - she cracked that grumpy technician with just one little giggle. Then it started being a nice time.

The tech really spent her time and looked at everything every carefully. I felt like she was doing a good job to ensure she didn't miss anything. All of Puggle's measurements were normal, all her bones and organs were developing healthily, and we got to see some cute waves and yawns from the little one. And you all know that good health was my number one concern, so I'm very relieved that all is well in there. I'm very thankful that God has chosen to knit together a healthy new child for us to take care of!

And now what you've all been waiting for.....drumroll please.......

It's a GIRL!! We were shocked!! We - and almost everyone we know - predicted a boy! This entire pregnancy has been the complete opposite of my first one. I feel pretty amazing and I hardly have any of the symptoms I had before. It's common belief (though not necessarily true) that pregnancies with girls are harder, and ones with boys are easier. So, naturally, I figured that's why this pregnancy was so drastically different. If I hadn't known better, I would have painted the room blue already; I was that sure. But it's a good thing I did know better, right?!

Just because we thought it was a boy doesn't mean we're disappointed that Puggle isn't one. We're very excited to give Lily Mae a little sister! Her name is...

Julee Noel!

Responses have all been so nice to the name we've chosen, but they've all been followed by the question, "So, is she going to go by a double name, too?" The answer very simply is no. Just Julee! Noel will remain a "proper" middle name. ;) "Julee" is obviously a spelling variation of Julie, the female version of Julius. Julius was the name of Clark's grandfather, with whom he had been very close. And Noel, as I'm sure you already know, means Christmas - in celebration and remembrance of the birth of Jesus Christ.

Here are some pictures of our ultrasound, and to be honest, the ones we got to take home I don't think were very good. I can't even really tell you what you're looking at. Your guess is as good as mine!

A profile shot (I think)

The "girl" money shot (I know because it's labeled. Heh.)

No clue.

After the ultrasound we scooted on across the street to my midwife's office where were had a great, short, and sweet visit. I love the care I'm getting there! I got the a-okay from her and we were on our way. We went to Target and picked out a cute blanket for Julee (we had done the same the day of Lily Mae's ultrasound) and then had a yummy dinner at Olive Garden. Then later we went to Kohl's to spend a free $10 gift card (do you ever get those?? They're a.m.a.z.i.n.g. We've gotten like 10 of them over the years.) Lily Mae picked out a cute little newborn sleeper for her little sis, which I think is totally fine since she'll mostly be getting hand-me-downs (or as Clark thought it was - "hammy" downs). So here's my first born with her first gift for our little monkey-butt!

Tomorrow I'll be 20 weeks along, halfway there!! I'll post a belly picture and an update, but fortunately it should be pretty short since I've been so chatty here lately. :)

(I can't believe I'm going to have two girls a year and a half apart. Someone send help.)

It's Only a Day A-Wayyyy

2011-09-19T15:34:00.000-04:00

This time tomorrow, the ultrasound will be over and I'll be sitting in the midwife's office gabbing it up about all the exciting things we saw in the sonogram.

Let me explain something to you guys....

At the risk of sounding like a bad mother, I'll admit something to you. I was not excited about Lily Mae's 20-week ultrasound. I remember vividly not wanting to go through it, just sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office wanting to fast forward an hour and have it all be over already. Even as it was happening, I was trembling with anxiety, and it wasn't until about half an hour after we left the office that I was able to settle down and realize that everything was actually ok.

One of my dearest friends was pregnant with her first child in 2008. Hers was one of the rare instances where things were not as they should have been in the ultrasound. That ultrasound revealed that her baby boy had a terminal disease and he would not be able to survive outside of the womb. She gave birth to Jaxton in April 2009 and had a sweet five hours with him in her arms before he passed away. The strength that God gave her and her husband was amazing, and in their great friendship and fellowship, they stood by our sides when I went into labor at 31 weeks and was faced with the possibility of losing Lily Mae or her having serious complications. We were so grateful to have their presence and encouragement during that trial.

But let's back up....Lily Mae's ultrasound was on March 10, 2009, just less than a month shy of Jaxton's birthday. On that day, all that was going through my mind was that my friends' lives completely changed all starting with their ultrasound - the same one I was about to get. Looking back through my old posts, I found that I wrote an entry the day before my ultrasound last time, too. I touched on my anxiety a little bit, but not much on the reason. (And just for fun, here's the post with the results). I was so nervous that the tech was going to drop a bomb on us that day, and all I wanted was to get the heck out.

All that to say is that this time feels much different, and I'm relieved to not feel so much stress. Going into my first ultrasound with Lily Mae, I had not felt her move yet and had no concrete evidence that she was even alive. This time, I know that Puggle has had a healthy heartbeat since the very beginning and I'm getting kicked and punched in there almost constantly. Of course I'm in the dark as far as Puggle's development goes, but at least I know that little bugger is squirming around.

But.

There's still that part of me that knows that this scan, this "test," is more significant than finding out the sex and getting cute pictures of my baby in utero. I can't just forget what happened with my friends, and I wouldn't want to. God was by their side from the beginning, and if something is wrong with Puggle, I have faith that He's already with me. But that doesn't change the fact that I already love my unborn baby and that I want him or her to be perfectly healthy. I'm just nervous about that small sliver of a chance that things aren't as I would want them to be. We'll find out in less than 24 hours, and I'll make sure to blog before I go to bed tomorrow night.

My appointment's at 2:00 at a doctor's office (my midwife doesn't have an ultrasound machine) and then we will go over to the midwife's office at 2:30 for my check-up. Check twitter and facebook tomorrow for the short and sweet version of the results. And by golly, go vote on my FB wall on what you think I'm having!! Seeing the results gives me something else to think about, and I could really use that today!

And please keep us in your prayers tonight and tomorrow afternoon!

A Few Things

2011-09-16T22:29:00.001-04:00

First, sometimes I think I've forgotten how to take care of a newborn. I'm so used to things now, I can't seem to remember how I used to do even the simplest things, like put a new baby down to sleep. I hope it all comes back to me without delay.

Second, we have two pretty awesome names picked out. Our boy choice is the sane from the first pregnancy. The girl's name has been a challenge, but Clark & I have finally fallen in love with one (but still working on a girl's middle name). I've been a little disappointed that we'll only get to use one of the names right now. But it's not like I'd prefer twins so I could use both names. No thanks.

Third, I forgot to ask you all to keep Puggle in your prayers. Sure we're very excited to know the gender of this baby, but more importantly I want to know that he or she is developing normally and is healthy. Our ultrasound is at 2:00 on Tuesday and we'll go straight to the midwife's office when it's over for my 20-week appointment. So please pray that all goes well and there are no complications.

And lastly, Lily Mae got a cold and then passed it to Clark and now to me. Being pregnant and sick is not very fun, but I'm hanging in there. Please also pray that this bug gets out of our family!

And...I love comments on my posts. They make me feel good. <3

19 Weeks & Only Days 'Til the Ultrasound

2011-09-15T22:36:00.003-04:00

Hi friends! I'm doing well with updating lately, dontcha think? I'm trying to do better. :)

Yesterday I crossed the 19-week pregnant mark, but I never had a chance to upload and share my 18-week belly picture. Clark snapped the pictures and we literally packed up the camera, chucked it and the kidlet in the car, and drove up to Maryland for a visit. We got home yesterday, and now here I am, upload just completed. Here it is!

(For my fellow photog friends...I know there is always a horrible shadow in these belly pictures. I do not have a second strobe to compensate, and we always find ourselves having to take the pictures at night when there's horrible lighting. I'm sorry if it bugs you - you can know it drives me bonkers, too. But this is just for the sake of documenting belly size, after all. :P)

I've been feeling superty duper! I just got my fourth progesterone injection this afternoon and it didn't hurt at all. Last week's shot though - oh my goodness - it h.u.r.t!!! Minutes after the nurse left I called Clark at work almost in tears from the shooting pain - I could barely walk! I was really nervous that it was a sign of things to come for the next 3.5 months. After telling the nurse about it today, she said that she must have hit or gotten very close to the sciatic nerve - well no wonder I was sore for five days. She seems to me to be a very good nurse, so I doubt it was any fault of hers. She changed her placement today and I barely felt it when it happened. Tonight, I can hardly even tell I got a shot at all. All is well. Only 16 more to go. Heh....

I've still been taking my Zofran for nausea, but I'm going to stop tomorrow and tough it out for a few days to see what happens. This pregnancy has been awesome, but even with my first I was able to stop the meds at 18 weeks. I feel like I should be fine now, but there's only one way to find out - wish me luck.

I'm gaining weight, which is good. I'm up a total of 5 pounds now, though my belly would have you believe it was much more. I'm ok with that, because I am, in fact, gaining. I got my first comment from a stranger yesterday: a gas station cashier said that I had a cute little belly and that all my snacks (a Snickers, zebra cake, AND a star crunch...whoops) must be for the baby. It made me smile. And it also made me think that there are few better compliments you can give a pregnant lady other than "cute belly". There's no subtle judgement involved like there would be with "whoa, you're getting bigger" or "you're about to pop!" or "you're that far along? I'd think you'd be bigger (or smaller/rounder/carrying higher/lower/what-have-you)". All those can make a girl feel....not so good (even if you have good intentions). Stick with "you have such a cute belly!". You can't go wrong, I promise.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday....then TUESDAY!!! 5 short little days until the big ultrasound! Until we find out if the baby is a boy or girl! Until Puggle has a real name!! (Assuming, of course, that Puggle cooperates and gives us a good view). I am beyond excited :D And thanks to my weekly Doppler checks with the nurse, I know that Puggle's heart beat is strong and I've been feeling lots of movement. Of course I'm still a little nervous, but I'm a lot less anxious this time around than I was for Lily Mae. (Next Monday night and Tuesday morning could be a different story.) After our immediate family knows the results, I'll be sharing the news on twitter, facebook, and here on the ol' blog! Last night I did have my first dream where I got to the results of the ultrasound - up until now there have been many dreams but they've been inconclusive or I've woken up before getting to the end. I did post a little survey on my facebook wall if you'd like to weigh in your predictions! Go vote!

Thanks always for reading, you guys are awesome! xoxo

Photo Blog: Best Friend's Birthday

2011-09-06T19:52:00.000-04:00

Lily Mae's very good friend McKayden turned a year old this past Saturday! And in record time - because I thought the pictures were so cute - I'm posting about it! The party was a Mad Hatter theme and was oh so cute and creative. Great job to Layna and Matt on a party well-done and raising a darn cute one year old!

(This post might take a while to load due to lots of big pictures - sorry!)

Layna made the cutest tu-tus for the littlest babies

The birthday girl with her mommy and daddy

Wanna goldfish?

Cake time!

This is delicious!

Our little gang in a rare picture together

Great pals :)

I *LOVE* this picture! (and look at all those toofers!)

Sweet friends (L-R: Kristalyn, McKayden, Lily Mae, and Chloe)

The youngest kiddos with one of the few boys their age, Caleb, getting in on the fun!

After 4 Months, I guess It's Time :)

2011-08-29T13:55:00.004-04:00

What is a "puggle"? Apparently nothing. However, I only learned that after about 5 minutes of research just now, as I was trying to open with something witty. I thought that a puggle was a baby platypus, and that's still generally what they're called (but scientifically speaking, there is no such term for a baby platypus). A puggle also refers to the cross-breed of a beagle and a pug, but that's besides the point.

Who cares about puggles? Me! Because "Puggle" is what Clark and I nicknamed the new baby growing in my belly! Yes, folks, I'm pregnant again!! Actually, I have been for quite some time, and I'm sure anyone reading this post already knows it. But it hasn't been officially shared on this blog, so I'm doing it now - woo hoo!

No, no, I'm not part of some crazy research project investigating the survival of a baby platypus in a woman's womb - I am pregnant with a human baby. There's not a whole lot of background information to share, but yes, Clark and I were trying for another kidlet. We did not, however, think it would happen as quickly as it did for two reasons: 1. getting pregnant with Lily Mae had been a bit of a challenge, requiring fertility medication for success and 2. I had not, erm, gotten my "lady cycles" back yet after having my first baby. I was still breastfeeding, and that tends to mess with the return of normalcy in regards to that. I wasn't going to wean LM in order to get pregnant, but Clark and I just figured we'd try even though our chances were pretty much none. "Trying" didn't exactly involve anything different, just a mutual declaration of intent. Then low and behold, sometime after that decision, I started feeling weird. I got nauseous along with other telltale symptoms, but a pregnancy test declared it to be just in my head. But after the symptoms only increased over the next couple weeks, I tested again to find some very happy news! The first test was too early, but that's how soon I had felt pregnant. Cool/weird. Getting pregnant during the first ovulation after having a baby is incredibly rare, but now you know someone it's happened to. It's called "catching the first egg."

I knew shortly after Lily Mae was born that if/when I ever got pregnant again, I was going to try to have my next labor and delivery at the local birth center with a midwife, instead of in a hospital with a doctor. Sure, I had LM drug-free, but it had been the complete opposite of the calm, peaceful process I wanted. I had nurses yelling at me to get into what were very unnatural positions for me, and things were just a whirlwind of interventions. I'm still so thankful for the medical help that Lily Mae and I received, as we really needed it in our situation. But knowing that there were other options, I really wanted to see what else was available for me. And I am so, so grateful that I was taken as a candidate for the birth center this time!! I am SO happy and excited for my care and upcoming birth there. They don't take high-risk pregnancies there - of which mine is. But there is an extremely effective hormone injection that prevents preterm labor. So effective, in fact, that by taking the medication the midwives at the center are perfectly confident that I will have a full-term baby and no other complications (at least none of the ones I had last time). And no, I'm not naive. I know interventions have their place. That's why the birth center is less than one mile away from the hospital. All of those necessary details have been worked out so that Clark and I both feel like they could handle an emergency appropriately.

I needed an ultrasound pretty quickly as there was no other way to date my pregnancy, and it indicated I was 6 weeks along - due February 8th! Such early sonograms can't see the heart, so I got to go back again 2 weeks later for another one. Puggle's growth was right on track between the two ultrasounds and the heart looked fantastic - music to my ears :)

6 week Puggle-scan

8 week Puggle-scan (facing you, waving hello!)

The first trimester has already come and gone, and in comparison to my first pregnancy, this one has been a complete breeze! Mild nausea easily controlled with medication, and only mild fatigue (easily controlled with lots of naps ;). I've been able to do everything I did before I was pregnant, aside from eat normally. The only similarity between then and now is that I lost my appetite and more than a few pounds. I started getting a little belly early on and at 10 weeks along I was already showing more than I had at 17 weeks before! My belly is still much smaller than what you'd expect, but I've been assured by the midwife that Puggle is growing just fine. My only orders are to eat a few extra servings of ice cream and junk food until my weight climbs back up. I have managed to pass my pre-pregnancy weight by a pound now, so we're headed in the right direction at least. I started feeling little squirms around 14 weeks this time, as opposed to at around 23 weeks with Lily Mae. And last night at church I got quite a round of strong kicks! Well, as strong as you can expect from a baby the size of a large avocado. It was pretty fun to feel.

I'm 3 weeks into my second trimester (16 weeks now) and I'm feeling great! No complaints. My belly's still growing, my appetite is coming back slowly but surely, and I'm not having to nap during LM's naps (which allows me to do other things like, you know...blog). I started my hormone injections last week - got my first shot of *20* (every week from 16 to 36 weeks). It's actually not nearly as bad as I thought. It burns just a little going in and it's been a little sore at the site for a couple days, but it's no big deal, really. Much better than having preterm labor! A nurse (a very sweet one, I might add) will be coming to my house every Thursday to administer the shot, so I can't even really call it an inconvenience.

Going outside in the SC heat is still difficult for me, as temps are still reaching the upper 90s every day (with the heat index) and I feel pretty drained. I'm highly anticipating the coming of cooler weather, even more energy, and finding out if Puggle is a boy or a girl! We will be having our big anatomy scan on September 20th (a mere 22 days away!) and will be finding out the sex as long as Puggle cooperates. But even more important than that, as you all know, this ultrasound is a big deal as far as analyzing healthy development of the baby, so prayers about that would be coveted. We've got names picked out and won't keep anything a secret after we find out, so stay tuned! I really am so excited! :D

So that's it for now. Sorry for being pregnant for 4 months and not blogging about it until now, but you know that's how I roll these days. Stay cool!

An Update! An Update!

2011-08-04T21:30:00.008-04:00

Hellllllo! Lily Mae is having a very cranky night (my fault), so while she watches her VeggieTales movie until bedtime, I'll plunk out a little update from my phone. (written sometime in the past week...only now getting around to adding pictures and posting it :P)

LM's first Easter, way back in April, wearing the dress I made (!!) for her

I've been busy! Let's see. Being a mom is totally awesome, and I have a ridiculously easy baby (except for times like tonight, when I decide to "experiment" with the kid's daytime nap schedule and make her grumpy). She turned 13 months old last week - whoa that flew by! Her birthday was in June and we celebrated with a big luau pool party. Lots of friends and family came (over 30 people!) and she was smothered with love - it was a really nice time. I was really humbled by the generosity of everyone involved - the guests who came from all over, the friends who hosted at their home, my parents who helped cook food, and my pals who helped set up....I know a baby's first birthday is more of a celebration for the parents, and I really did feel thankful for it all.

At her first birthday party - she didn't really dig the cake

A week after her birthday, we packed up and boarded a plane to Cancun, Mexico! Our first vacation since before I went into the hospital last May, we really felt we were ready for a getaway. The three of us stayed six nights in a spiffy, all-inclusive resort and had really quality time together. The only downside is that the weather was kind of crummy...I know, right?! Bummer. Now, we didn't have anything like the hurricane on our honeymoon, but being in Mexico while it's overcast, rainy, windy, and chilly is not optimal. We didn't get to go in the ocean even once, and only got to go in the pool twice the whole week. But again - I want to stress that is was a nice vacation, we enjoyed each other, and it was totally worth it. Lily Mae was a trooper and adjusted well to a new crib, sleep schedule, and she really took advantage of the all-inclusive restaurants. She ate like a piggy!

She was really excited about her crib

The view from our room on the day we arrived

Having fun in Mexico on one of our sunny days

On our youth retreat the weekend after Mexico (see, we have been busy!) Lily Mae did come with us camping and was totally awesome, as usual

And back to her for a minute. She's just the cutest - looks like an even mix of me and Clark. She's got his nose and eyebrows and my eyes and hair. She looked like my twin when she was born and when she started looking more like Clark I have to admit I was a little sad. Not anymore! She's totally perfect. She's got a total of six teeth at the moment - 3 on both the top and bottom. She's not walking or talking yet, but she hasn't missed a milestone to date and I don't expect that she will. There's still time - I'm not concerned. She cruises along any furniture around and is a little social butterfly. Lily Mae just loves to make people laugh...she'll do anything! She's super sweet, a great sleeper, easy going, low maintenance kid. And according to her one year well-baby check up, shes a shrimp. She weighed in at 17 lbs. exactly (5th percentile), which is 6 oz less than she weighed at 9 months (she hadn't started crawling yet). Her doc's not too concerned, he just wants to do a weight check which will happen next week. She's been eating like the world's about to run out of food, so I'm hoping she's packed on some weight. I'm still breastfeeding her but only once a day now - she's almost ready to stop completely which makes me really sad. I just love her to pieces.

Muffin most recently, sometime last week!

Well, I'll leave other updates for other posts. Thanks for tuning in after such a long absence!

So Much to Share!

2011-07-26T12:27:00.001-04:00

I want to blog, I DO!! Even since Lily Mae was born, there's never been a real post just about her and what she's like...mom fail. But I have so much stuff to share. Stuff like my baby girl turning one and having her first birthday party, taking our first real family vacation to Mexico, starting my own online business, among other things. This isn't by any means a promise that posts will actually be written and posted about these things. This is just a post saying that I want to, and that maybe one day - hopefully sooner than later - it might happen. But we're all alive and doing well!

Little Helper

2011-07-13T18:02:00.001-04:00

Just testing a new blog app on my phone. But enjoy the picture! Lily Mae helping Daddy install new stuff in our home theater computer. Cute, right?!

Little Sleeper to Big Snoozer

2011-04-10T01:00:00.004-04:00

Just for fun.... Lily Mae catchin' some zzz's back as a newbie and again today. :)

Taken the day we left the hospital, July 5th, 2010, when she was 8 days old (4 lbs, 13 oz.)

Taken today, April 10th, 2011, at about 9.5 months old (probably 17 lbs, 6 oz.)

In case you can't tell, when she was brand new her head barely came to the top of the warning label on the left side of the carrier, and her feet came to about where her knees are today. My little girly sure is growing! :)

Donut-Stealing Baristas

2011-03-24T04:43:00.000-04:00

Lily Mae has been waking up earlier every day for a week. She used to make it to 8:30 easily, but today she made it only to 7:00 and couldn't go back to sleep. That was ok - I was sort of expecting that, especially since she hadn't woken up during the night. Kind of a win/lose. Anyway, I went back into my bedroom to grab my glasses and chapstick, as usual, when I heard Clark pipe up and offer to go out and play with the kiddo for a little bit. I had about half an hour before he needed to get ready for work, and since you know how much I value sleep of any amount, I took him up on it.

I've noticed that if I can hear Lily Mae at all, I will not be able to doze off. I guess I always knew that, but even when she's just happy and chatting with her toys I can't tune her out. Thanks to my white noise app playing right next to my ear, I did eventually nod off.

I've been having some strange dreams lately, maybe because my day-to-day needs a little spice or because I'm going crazy with exhaustion (seriously, I feel way more tired now than when Maebert was a newborn). This morning's dream involved some combination of driving in a field to find a pumpkin stand, ordering my favorite Starbucks chai, and being nervous that the baristas were going to take my donuts. in this dream, I did all these things this morning while I was supposed to be napping, and I got home at 10:30 when Clark had needed to get in the shower at 8:30. He was pretty mad at me, but then my alarm went off and, though confused, I finally figured out it was 8:30 after all, and I was not actually in trouble.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

2011-03-12T07:01:00.000-05:00

This morning, Clark said he would watch Lily Mae for the two hours before she needed to eat again. (I know, he's totally awesome!) "You can do whatever you want," he said. Whatever I want? Whoa. Well I knew of course that there would be a nap involved. I had watched McKayden every day this week and was busy every night... I was pretty tired. But I also wanted to shower, because I don't remember the last time I took an unrushed, guiltless shower. So since I had already eaten breakfast (a toasted english muffin with pumpkin butter, yum!), I planned for an hour of sleep, an hour of shower/get ready time.

10:00 to 12:00 was my slot.

When my alarm went off at 11:00 for my shower, I knew that just wasn't going to happen. I reset the alarm for 11:15, thinking a quick shower would still be good. *beep beep* 11:30... I'll just take a really, really fast shower. *beep beep* 12:00, Lily Mae needs to eat. Guess I'm not going to shower. Oh well.

When I came out to the living room still a stinky mess, I realized that with mommyhood comes new life rules. Rock, paper, scissors rules.

Sleep beats showers. There comes a point - a really gross point - where showers beat food. But if I'm hungry, food totally beats sleep. So...wanna play 'Sleep, Eat, Shower' with me?

ps - I posted this from my phone. I found a decent blogging app, but can't post pictures. blahhhh

Let's, like, watch a movie and stuff.

2011-03-02T16:01:00.002-05:00

Confession: I sometimes let Lily Mae watch a VeggieTales movie so that I can take a shower. I've been doing it since she was, oh, four months old. Before that she'd get to watch Baby Einstein movies. She likes it and I get to be clean, and about once a week that's worth it to me. So today I was going out to eat lunch with my good friend Katherine and thought it'd be considerate to wash the stink of who-knows-how-long off of myself. Enter Lord of the Beans. She's been doing this super cute thing where she crosses her little legs, which she did right as I started the movie for her. So, I whipped out my phone and took a little picture before heading off for my long awaited shower.

After I finish I always rush right out to make sure everything's still ok with the muffin before I dry off and get dressed. Came out to this:

I think my baby has a little teenager somewhere in that little body. (Legs still crossed, mind you.)

**And it seems as though this little movie-for-shower deal may be over quite soon. Can't really do that with a little one who can go places. Can't you just see her scooting up two more feet and smacking her face on those glass shelves? Or even worse...unalphabetizing my DVD's?? The horror!**

(Totally kidding. Of course smacking her face is worse. Silly that I even have to say that I know that.)

Pears, no. Mess, yes.

2011-02-28T10:53:00.003-05:00

Sometimes we grow when our best laid plans don't work out. Well, I do.

A parenting goal of mine is to prepare Lily Mae's food from scratch and to buy natural/organic whenever possible. Our local grocery store is great and has a much larger organic selection than any other store in town, but it's still not enough. The closest Whole Foods store is over an hour away with traffic, so it's really not a great option for us. However, we had a great, open weekend with no plans, so we took a little family trip on Saturday to get some new foods for Lily Mae to try. She's eight months old now and has only had three foods - bananas, oatmeal, and sweet potatoes (all of which she loves). I don't feed her every day (or even every other day). I'm really not that worried about it. She likes to eat, has no aversion to a spoon, loves her highchair... I don't anticipate a problem transitioning her to solids down the road when she actually needs them. Honestly, I think I'm the one who's been getting bored with the same three foods. I've been excited to let her try some new things. At Whole Foods we got butternut squash, pears, sweet potatoes, carrots, barley, and oats - all organic. The pears will be the first to go bad, so I wanted to start with those. So begins our morning.....

First off, I've never eaten a pear. Actually, once - a candied, baked, delicious pear my friend Aaron made at a party one New Years Eve. It was pretty good. So...I didn't know how to pick a pear. Or how to prepare a pear (prePEAR, anyone???). But I learned from a website that I don't have to cook them first (for an eight-month old), and that they should be soft enough when they are ripe to easily puree. About a month ago, I found a 14-cup food processor on Craigslist for $30, so I jumped up and bought it. Ready to go. So excited! I cut, I seeded, I peeled. I put the chunks into the processor and pureed away. It did.not.work. Maybe it was because I didn't cook them, or maybe the used machine had a blade that was too dull, but it pretty much just chopped the pear up and wouldn't go any finer than that. After messing with it for a while, I thought maybe I could just whip it into a puree with a hand mixer. Pear pieces EVERYWHERE. Moving it in all into a third, bigger bowl only made more flying pear chunks across my kitchen.

.......sigh.........

Fine! Scrap the pears!!! Nobody likes pears anyway!!! ARGHH. All the while Lily Mae is patiently waiting and playing with her feet in her highchair while I figure out this disaster of a meal. I grabbed a sweet potato cube from the freezer, thawed it, and delivered the bowl of the yummy orange mush to my cutie who is always eager to eat it. HA! Think again, Mama Bear! I normally feed her at night, but when introducing new foods I like to do it in the morning in case it upsets her tummy - hence the earlier feeding today. She just wasn't hungry (so the pears probably wouldn't have been a hit either). She ate a little bit, sure, but really wasn't interested. So here I was, pear non-mush strewn across the kitchen, bowls and processor parts piled up in the sink, and a baby who doesn't want the food I've made for her.

I don't mind a dirty mess. A food mess, on the other hand, drives me a little bit bananas (heh heh). Give me a kid covered in mud - heck, even spit up - and I'll be just fine, but keep your messy food face (and hands and arms and bib and clothes and table and floor) away from me!! (I'm a freak.)

I'm a mom now. I knew this day would come, and that I would have to be ok with food mess. It's part of growing up...it's even good for a kid to explore their food and learn how to feed themselves. Up until now, I've even stopped mid-feeding to wipe her face and hands off (multiple times). But I've had a frustrating morning with this whole meal thing, and when she was more interested in the spoon than what was on it, I made the choice to surrender and just give it to her. I even dumped what was left of her potatoes on her tray and just let her play with them. [insert heart-racing anxiety attack here]

It was hard, but I did it - it was even a little funny to watch her explore and squish it between her fingers. I'm still finding hardened chunks of orange foodstuffs in her hair, her nose, and her ears. But you know what? I think I'm gonna be ok. ;)

p.s. I know what you veteran moms are thinking: "This? This is what she's calling a "mess"?". YES. See? I'm nuts. (Ha! Another food pun! I'm on a roll!!! Bwahhahahahahaha another one!!!!!)

Chomp!

2011-02-20T21:54:00.003-05:00

Lily Mae goes through teething in a way that I haven't heard about before. Over Thanksgiving, she was teething. She ate every single two hours (for an hour each time) for over a week until the tops of two little toofers showed up on her bottom gum line. They broke the skin, but that was it: they just stayed level with her gums - you couldn't even feel them to run your fingers over them. Then the same thing happened over Christmas with her two front top teeth. Ate every two hours, but this time I could tell she was in quite a bit of pain. Took her to the doc just to make sure there was no ear infection, and nope... just her teeth popping through like the bottom ones. They broke the skin after a week and then stopped. She went back to eating normally and wasn't in pain anymore.

Then rewind to two weeks ago when everything fell to pieces. Bleeding gums, refusing to nurse, overflowing fussiness, "raspberry cries", and crocodile tears until one of those bottom teeth began to creep up! I can only describe it as teething in two phases... can anyone shed any light on that? Totally threw me for a loop since I thought she already went through teething for that little bugger. Now she's going through it again for the one next to it. Sheesh.... I'm glad she won't remember the pain!

And goodness forbid I try to see inside her mouth... she gets SO.MAD.AT.ME. But I tried (and tried, and tried, and tried) and finally got a picture of the pesky chomper that finally decided to show itself!

February Failures

2011-02-20T09:37:00.004-05:00

So, this is why I don't make resolutions. Maybe part of me even rebels a little bit once I make a goal....like now that I've made it official then I'm really not going to do it (take THAT!). Here are the updates to my resolutions and my resolugoals.

1. Blog more often: Well, there have been seven weeks since the start of the year, and my reasonable goal was three posts a week. I should have had 21 posts by now. Yup... I've posted five times. That's a little less than 21, wouldn't ya say? Overall FAIL, though I'd still like to post more. If I could blog from my iPhone, I'd blog so much more. I know I can, but I don't like the options I've found so far. Do you have a favorite app for posting blogs from your phone?

2. Tone up and build endurance: Remember I joined a running group to train for a 10K in August? Wasn't able to go even one time. Eventually realized that it was not a realistic goal for my schedule. While I may have been able to attend some group runs on Saturdays, I really needed time to run throughout the week as well, and I just can't. Total FAIL. That said, I've reached my target weight, but since that wasn't the point of the resolution, it doesn't count. Still a nice feeling, though. I may even drop below it, because though I'm not running, I do take care of two babies most days during the week and they keep me moving around all day long.

3. Take better care of Rocky: Total FAIL. So far, anyway. I've got a week to execute a plan before I said I'd start looking for a new home for him. I don't even want to talk about it.

4. Earn for the building pledge: This is the only non-failure of the bunch, but not by anything I've done. We've been blessed! It always amazes me when God provides, even though it shouldn't because he always does. Thanks to some extra money we'll have each month this year, a little smidge of money I'm sure I'll earn, and a monstrously unexpected tax refund, we're gonna make it! Until the pledge is met, we've still got to put our money where our mouths are... but it does feel like a dark, heavy cloud has been lifted. Praise!

Resolugoals...

1. Keep up the house: Hasn't been perfect but it's been much better. I created chore lists for myself for tasks to be done daily, weekly, biweekly, and monthly. While I have yet to implement them regularly, the act of making the lists put little bugs in my brain of things that need to be done more often. Also, we've has some visits from family and friends and started hosting our small group at our home every Friday, so really, the house has to be clean, and has been for the most part! Just don't look at the mountain of dishes in the sink, though. (My two least favorite tasks: the dishes and the kitchen floor.)

2. Coupons, groceries, cooking: There's been some improvement! Small steps.... I haven't been to the store as often as I need to, but when I've gone I've taken my coupons and been successful. And I've been planning out our meals and cooking more often.

3. Pray more: Hmm. Until I read that in the list there, I'd forgotten that I'd written it. This is still a weakness, but I suppose I have been praying more. Not as much as I need to, though, and the time I've been dedicating to it has been less than impressive.

4. More water, less soda: Um, there's been less soda, but not more water. If I can't have soda I just don't drink anything. Well, I did drink some OJ when I was sick, and I had a glass of water yesterday. [pathetic]

5. More pictures/video: Yup! I've done this one! I've taken a ton of pictures and video....now I just need time to go through all of it and share it!

6. Decorate: This one's ongoing, because obviously I can't decorate whole house overnight. I haven't brought in anything new, but I did de-clutter our bonus room! And Clark and I have found some new couches that we really like for our living room - if I can sell our current set then we can get the new ones! Fingers crossed!! (Anyone local interested? Nice black leather couch, loveseat, and chair...they're in great shape but just doesn't go with my "scheme"...I'll give ya a good deal - spread the word!)

There you have it! And when January 1st, 2012 comes along, you'll understand why I didn't make any resolutions. Lesson learned.

Fresh Air

2011-02-19T23:01:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was super awesome (today was, too, but yesterday was even warmer). Upper 70's, low humidity...perfect day to lay out a blanket and play in the yard! Lily Mae got to roll around in just her little diaper (a BabyKicks 3G Bumboo) and her new amber teething necklace. She had a blast for hours. It was amazing!

Cloth Diapers! Why You'll Love Them...

2011-01-21T13:02:00.007-05:00

Alrighty, friends! It's that time you've all been waiting for! It's the start of my posts on cloth diapering and attachment parenting! (Ok, well maybe not all of you are interested. But I *know* many of you are, as you've asked me to write about these things.)

** I need to include a disclaimer on this (and probably all future) parenting-related posts. This is my opinion, and it's what works for me and my family. I do not think badly of anyone who decides that something different works for them. I value the opinions of others as well and like to consider myself open-minded. Every good parent wants what's best for their children, and that will look different from person to person. I do not think I'm better than anyone else for any reason, nor do I think I'm an expert or a know-it-all. I know I still have a lot to learn, and I reserve the right to change my mind as I grow as a mother and gain wisdom. That said, I have really enjoyed my experience as a parent so far, and I'd really like to share about things I do and products I use that I happen to think are awesome. I hope that these posts might help or inform someone else out there about options. So all that to say....let's not judge each other - I promise there's no judgment from this end!**

We'll start with cloth diapers!

I've wanted to cloth diaper since... well truth be told, I never actually considered doing anything else. I always have known that cloth diapers existed - I was cloth diapered for a period of time as my parents used a diaper service. My initial reason years ago was environmental. I've always been somewhat of a hippie, and knowing that using disposables creates tons of waste was troubling to me. Things I've learned since then are that diapers do not decompose. Really, they don't. Not at all (unless you buy ones that are designed to, like Seventh Generation ones). On top of that, not only is waste created with the disposal of them, but the manufacturing process to create disposables in the first place is incredibly detrimental to the environment and natural resources. You would not believe the ingredients in these diapers... not only are tons of trees used, but chemicals are also included. I knew that disposable diapers would not be worth their convenience to me. I value the earth more. Call me whatever you want - crunchy, hippie....(crazy?), but regardless I also believe that we are called as Christians to responsibly steward the land we've been given. (Gosh I really am nervous about writing all this - is that normal? I'm not calling you a sinner if you use disposables. Just to be clear. Well, that's not why we're sinners.)

So that's where this adventure began! But listen to all this other wonderful stuff!

So, all those chemicals I mentioned before? They're put into disposables primarily for absorbency, and it's true - disposables can hold several times their weight in pee and poo. However, if you're like me (which arguably most people aren't), you want to avoid chemicals on your baby whenever possible. All those chemicals are literally touching your baby's skin almost 24 hours a day, every day, for several years. Yuck! Also, because disposables are so absorbent, the baby's diaper is not changed as often as a cloth one would be. To most, I guess this would be desired - convenience is why they developed the diapers in the first place. I don't want to leave a baby in a wet or soiled diaper for hours on end - I wouldn't want to sit in my own filth for any length of time, even if my undies did happen to absorb most of it. Anyway, with cloth, you do have to change diapers more often (every 2-3 hours, or even more for a newborn), but to me that's much better than chemicals against my baby's skin.

Next up....saving money! We're not talking a few bucks of savings - we're talking thousands. And you can use cloth diapers for all of your children, so that ends up being a savings of up to $3,000-4,000 per child. That even takes into account the extra money in electricity and water for laundering. This perk is what sold Clark on the notion (but he has always been supportive - I didn't really have to convince him in the first place). You can cloth diaper your baby from birth through potty training for as little as $100 (lifetime total) using a system known as "prefolds with covers". I don't use this system, though, because I prefer benefits of some other, more modern systems. By using coupons, winning some giveaways, and asking for diapers as gifts, I have built a great stash with all the accessories I need by only spending about $350. I've got everything I need until Lily Mae will be out of diapers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah....so what about the poo? Let me tell ya - the laundry is NOT that bad (I'm extra weird and actually enjoy it). A good-sized stash of about 24 diapers makes only about 2 extra loads of laundry a week, and you really don't even have to do anything. Diaper comes off the baby, and you toss it in the pail (you may have to remove an insert first). When you start running low on diapers (or 3/4 days, whatever comes first), you just pull out the pail liner and dump everything into the wash. Get a good diaper-safe detergent and let your washer do the work! I'll go into all of this soon, but I just want you to know that it's seriously not that gross,and it's not much extra work. And if it is gross, there are solutions for that, too. Sure, I'm a stay at home mom, but I know that many, many cloth diapering moms work outside of the home and are able to keep up with the extra laundry. You can, too! (And no, a little bit of poo in your washer isn't going to make any of your other clothes nasty. Washers were meant to get dirty things clean!)

And lastly, have you seen modern cloth diapers??? They're easy! They're fun! They're CUTE! There are endless options when it comes to cloth diaper styles nowadays. Gone are the days of folding cloth, pinning, and rubber pants! Modern cloth can be as simple as a disposable to use - all one piece with velcro. Or you could use snaps. Or use stuffable inserts for customizable absorption. Or use hybrid inserts. I'll explain what all that means soon, but the point is that seriously - cloth diapering is easy, easy, easy to do. Sure there are complicated ones out there that would probably take some time and skills to master, but I promise that there is a cloth diaper in existence that would be a good fit for you. While I haven't used every type out there, I have researched the heck out of them for almost 2 years and I believe I have a thorough understanding of what's available. So if you'd like any help trying to find a system for you, please email me at "jess (at) lilyofthepalms (dot) com" and I will be SO happy to help you! (forgive the funky email address format - it's to avoid spammers...you should consider doing likewise when writing your email address in comments and such).

I have SO many ideas for posts to come on diapers, and though I'll probably write about more things than this, I'm going to list upcoming posts. As I write them I will update this entry to include links to the posts when they're up!

The Basics of Cloth Diapering: Types, Options, and Terminology
The Basics of Cloth Diapering: The Accessories
The Basics of Cloth Diapering: Laundry and Storage
Diaper Reviews (intro post will contain links to all cloth diaper and accessory reviews)
Cloth Diapering 102: Got Stink? Troubleshooting Smelling & Repelling
Cloth Diapering 102: Traveling with Cloth
Cloth Diapering 102: Daycares, Grandfolks, & Sitters
Cloth Diapering 102: Preemies and Newborns
Cloth Diapering 102: Nighttime Solutions

So you see I've got my work cut out for me, and also that I've been planning this posting "series" for quite a while and putting a lot of thought into it! If these topics are of interest to you, use your favorite blog reader and subscribe so you'll know when I post something you want to read! Also, if you want me to write about another cloth diapering topic, just let me know what you're interested in. :)

Again, I just want to say that I think cloth diapering is awesome and that I kinda wish everyone would do it. But I still think you're awesome even if you don't do it, what works for me might not work for you, and you're no lesser of a parent because of it. Love you guys, and stay tuned for more cloth diapering fun!

My sweet little Lily Mae at 6 months old in a Fuzzibunz One-Size cloth diaper

Tubby. (Pun Intended)

2011-01-19T22:54:00.005-05:00

Don't mind me, just look at the cute baby. I was sick and didn't get out of my pjs for the entire day. Don't judge. :P

Shame on me for not posting frequent updates about how Lily Mae's growing/doing (or any updates, for that matter). I know I'm really going to regret that later - I'm already forgetting stuff.

Anyway, she's 6.5 months old already - wow! I'm trying to keep up with my resolution to blog more often, so I'm still going to put off the more detailed update on her. However, she can sit up like a pro now (& has for weeks) so it's time for me to remove the newborn support bar in her baby tub! We took a couple of pictures for comparison's sake...look how big she is now!

Here's her first bath after we brought her home from the hospital. At 2.5 weeks, she was just at 5 lbs. (Water was too cold. Temperature safety duck -aka "censor bar"- was misleading. Lesson learned the sad way.)

And here's the chunkster now! 6.5 months and 14.5 lbs!

We LOVE bath time around here! Of course, when Lily Mae gets one, so do I. I'm shocked there's even any water left in her tub at all when we're done.

Off to bed... later, friends!

"Charm"ing Lights

2011-01-10T11:58:00.004-05:00

I snatched this of some lights in my neighborhood a couple weeks ago. You've got your standard cheater net lights on the bushes, some fake deer and trees, and you know.... Harry's patronus stag.

*Don't remember what a patronus charm is? Quick, go re-read your copy of Prisoner of Azkaban.
**Don't know that book? Shame on you. Go pick up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, read, and then read the next book. Keep going until there aren't any more books.
***Don't know how to read? Go watch the movies. Tell Hagrid that Jess sent you.

2011 Resolugoals

2011-01-02T23:27:00.007-05:00

(Just a note... as I wrote the post title I caught myself for the 15th time writing 2001. It bugs me to change a year-long habit. Grr.)

There are some things I've been thinking about for this new year that don't quite qualify as resolutions. They are not new goals but rather things I've constantly been striving for, planning towards, or thinking about. So piggy-backing off of the resolutions, I present [drumroll please]....

My 2011 Resolugoals! (just typed 2001 again...)

1. Keep the house gears turning

Since having Lily Mae this has been my biggest struggle by far. I'm always trying to stay on top of things but I find it really difficult. We spend the majority of our time in the den/living room and it really shows. The coffee table in particular is a disaster. Right now on the table are the following: baby book, markers, newspapers, craft ribbon, a constellation guide, a Pez dispenser, unsent Christmas cards (guess those aren't getting done this year), a video camera, a candle and lighter, yarn, remotes, hand sanitizer, baby hairbows, scraps of paper with addresses on them, a box of teething tablets, a Tervis tumbler lid, baby nail clippers, knitting ring markers, and a cloth nursing pad that needs a wash. Yeeeeeah. While the coffee table surely is the messiest place in the house, you've probably already assumed that the rest of rooms have similar trouble spots. I'm not a slob, seriously. Straightening up just hasn't been a priority, but my family deserves a clean, healthy place to live. Or you know...maybe just somewhere to put their coffee cup on the table from time to time. Other areas of weakness include the dishes, Clark's and my laundry (Lily Mae's clothes and diapers are always up to speed out of necessity), and the kitchen floor.
(Update: I started writing this post yesterday. Since then, I've cleaned up the table!)

2. Coupons, Groceries, Cook.
I'm a couponer. I'm not the best and have yet to earn money on items like some of my friends, but I coupon anyway and save a lot of money. I can't stand to pay full price for anything in my cart at the store. So GET THIS: Since I haven't ~~had~~ made the time to coupon, I've unintentionally refused to go grocery shopping. After all, how could I live with myself to walk through those doors with nary a coupon in hand?? And Clark - the sweet man that he is - has offered plenty of times to go to the store for us. But *gasp*, me? The self-made domestic housewife send my hard-working provider to the store because I just can't get my act together to do it myself? Nope, I'd surely fail at life, burst into flames, and disintegrate into a puff of smoke if I allowed him to help me that way. So thanks to my massive pride issues, what have we been resorting to instead? Going out to eat for almost EVERY meal (and spending 3 times what I'd spend on groceries even without my coupons). FAIL.

Coupon. Shop. Cook. Sounds easy enough.
(Update: again, since I wrote this yesterday, I've since gone grocery shopping and stocked the fridge and pantry. And for that and cleaning the table, I did reward myself with ice cream, never fear.)

(This is where I picked up from yesterday...)
3. Pray more
My faith in Christ is THE most important thing I've got. Yes, even more important than my husband or daughter. God deserves my constant attention and thought. I'm coming out of a valley of not having consistent quiet times in the Word with help from an iPhone app. Clark provides sound leadership and accountability for me, and the app gives me daily devotionals and reading plans. I've been keeping up with them daily, so that's good. But to be honest, my prayer life has suffered greatly. When I read, many times it's as I'm feeding Lily Mae in the morning, and when I'm done I just forget to pray. I'm distracted and preoccupied with my own stuff that is not even close to as important as my relationship with my savior. God is worthy of my praise all day long, and yet I can't even make it a priority to have even one quality conversation with him daily. I have to also admit that during these times (this isn't the first prayer lull of my life), I feel overwhelmed by my sin and neglect of God, and I feel ashamed to approach him after such an absence of heartfelt dialogue. This is an area that needs huge improvement, because I have so many things to talk to my Father about, so many things to thank him for, and a question or two. And I'm sure I've got lots of listening to do, too. I'm especially thankful that he really is who he says he is, and that he's given me the gift of grace. What a blessing it is to always be welcomed back into his wide open arms, no matter how long the absence!

4. More water, less soda.

5. Take more pictures & video.

6. Decorate.
We've been in our house for over 4 years and still haven't touched the living room, our bedroom, the bathrooms, the guest room, or the kitchen. I want to make them more "us" with creative decorating and awesome paint. I want to be as proud of the rest of the house as I am of Lily Mae's room. Her room rocks. I'll show you with a video tour of it soon. ;)

Alrighty. It' bedtime, I'm out! That's all for now!

I Resolve to Make Resolutions

2011-01-02T15:07:00.005-05:00

I'm not typically one to make resolutions. I don't really care much about the whole "new year" thing... January is simply the month that follows December. Years have become more revolutionary and less linear to me, i.e. years don't begin and end, time just keeps going forward. However, there have been several things that have been weighing on me, and what better time to announce them to the world than now under the name of resolutions? I find that I need to quantify things so that I can actually keep track of my progress and succeed.

1. Blog more often

I want to blog three times weekly. One blog about life (be it marriage, Lily Mae, or anything random - creative freedom's the name of the game), one about cloth diapering/attachment parenting/mommy topics, and one with a photo - could be an artsy-fartsy edited image or simply a fun iPhone pic. Of course there could be photos in any of my posts, but this third weekly one is for the sole purpose of pictures. I may create a separate blog for the mommy/diapering posts, because I know many readers may not be interested in those topics. Being one to please, I want my readers to want to come back. BUT... I've stunk it up keeping up with this blog alone, so let's see how this resolution goes before I start a second blog. ;)

2. Tone up and build endurance

I honestly haven't exercised since before I got pregnant. :[ Whoops. That's not the example I want to set for Lily Mae, and I know lifestyle habits are learned early. Clark also deserves better from me. I'm weak and wimpy... it's pretty sad. Once upon a time, in my high school heyday, I was active, worked out, played sports daily (and was a pretty good lacrosse player if I do say so myself). I refuse to accept that the best shape of my life was when I was 16, but the truth is that the past 10 years has been a steady fall of my fitness. To not beat myself up too much, I'm actually a few pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and only a couple more away from my weight goal (what I was at my wedding). So... this is not a weight goal. This is muscle tone, cardio fitness, and endurance. How do we quantify? A friend of mine invited me to join her running group to train for a local 10K in April, so I joined! I'll be following a training schedule and doing weekly group runs to stay accountable.

3. Take better care of Rocky
My poor puppy. We moved to South Carolina over four years ago and he developed nasty skin allergies. Without his prescriptions and regular medicated baths, his skin is downright nasty. Touching him leaves a stinky, oily goo on your hands for days so he stays in his kennel the majority of the time (which he doesn't seem to mind). Starting in mid-pregnancy it became very hard on me to wash him; to be done well it's got to be in the bathtub, hunched over and scrubbing for a long time. Since the baby's been around he's just been put on the back-burner. No more! I've got the time, the means, the energy, and if I keep the second resolution, I'll also have the strength to take better care of him and let him out to play more. (Maybe I can even bring him on some runs around the neighborhood with me.) Quantifying? This one's serious, because it's not right to neglect our animal friends. If I am not giving him bi-weekly baths (at least) and letting him out to play most days by the end of February, Rocky will go to a new home where he will get the love he deserves. That self-threat in and of itself is enough for me to keep up with this one.

4. Earn for the building pledge
I posted about a photography promotion back in September in hopes to book some sessions so I could put money towards our building pledge for church. Simply put: it didn't go as well as I would have hoped. Maybe my rates were still too high even with the discount. Nonetheless, I've still got our pledge balance looming over me so something's got to be done. I'm planning some session fee revision and various new ways to promote my business. In addition to Lily Mae Photography, I got a new sewing machine for Christmas! I'll test the Etsy waters by offering up some handcrafted items (sewn, knitted, and whatever else) in a store I'll create. The quantifier is very simply our pledge balance. We've got until October and a lot of moolah left to give.

I feel like I'm missing something (can't stand that feeling). Oh well. One of the reasons I don't usually make resolutions is because I feel like I set myself up for failure, so having less of them gives me more chance for success. And really, these resolutions are non-negotiable. Failure is not an option (except the blog one... after all, life would still go on if I failed that one, sorry guys). Feel free to check in on me and ask how these things are going from time to time - I'd love the extra accountability!

You are awesome if you've read this far, thank you! Happy new year!!!

It's Been a While for This Busy Bee

2010-11-19T00:34:00.004-05:00

Hey folks! Jess here...remember me??

It's been a really, *really* long time. It actually would have been even longer if I wasn't trying to waste time while I upload a ton of monstrous files for a project I'm working on. Right now we're at 27 of 63 files completed. And when they finish I have another 60-ish files to start. So while I'm waiting, I'll give you a little updater-oo.

I've been SO busy!! Lily Mae takes a lot of my time and attention, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I totally love being a mom - just thinking about it makes me smile :D She's a great little baby, and though I'm positive I'll eat my words at some point (maybe very soon), right now taking care of her is - dare I say it? - easy. She's a happy baby most of the time. She eats well (still exclusively breastfed!) and her feeding times have been cut in half from an hour to 30 minutes, on average. She's gotten much better (and faster) at eating which makes my life easier. I'm also still cloth diapering her full time which couldn't be going any better - I love it! If I were a pushy person I'd try to convert everyone to cloth (but since I'm not, I'll save my opinions for my blog :P). My only complaint? She's a downright crappy napper. The girl sleeps through the night (!!!) but once she's up for the day, she's pretty much UP. IF she naps at all, it's maybe once for 15-30 minutes. That's why I get my work done after she goes to bed for the most part, and also why I usually don't get to go to bed until after 2am. I really wish she took consistent naps. Twice a day, even. For at least an hour each. That'd really rock my world. But as it stands, the girl just isn't that tired. She doesn't get too cranky during the day while she's awake, and I've tried lots of things but she just won't sleep during the day (wants to play with mommy, I guess). I hope this is just a phase.

Other than Lily Mae, I've been trying my best to keep up with my domestic wifely duties - cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. I've really struggled in this area the most, but the house isn't ever about to fall apart so I consider that a win. I want the house to be clean....clutter makes me gag. But I can't get around to it! Ah well, such is life, and there are more important things.

I've been working my tail off on tons of projects, mostly for church. I was the photographer for a huge outreach event we had and I put together a collage for the service the following Sunday. I also compiled/edited photos and made banners for each family that participated in a baby dedication service last Sunday (we dedicated Lily Mae!). I've also been totally honored that our pastor has asked for my help for a special church planting project. He is visiting our sending church in Kentucky to encourage their congregation to support another plant. He asked me to take pictures of our various services and create a special presentation for him to show - something that would tell the story of our church. I've worked super hard on this project, making it my mission to deliver an awesome product to him (these are the mega-huge files I'm uploading at the moment - 55 of 63!). So other than photography, I've been working on a couple websites. First is a fitness coaching site I'm building for my cousin, and the other is for a church that our church is planting. There's kind of a time crunch on both of those sites, so I've been building them at every chance I get!

And in addition to those projects, about two months ago I dove right back into all my other church responsibilities - the finance team coordinator, youth ministry leader (one of many), children's worship leader, high school girl's small group leader (one of three), prayer team member, creative team member, communication team member, and couple's small group co-leader [inhale]. So now you see why I haven't been blogging ;-) And no, I'm not over-burdened or burnt out by these things - my life is perfectly balanced at the moment thankyouverymuch. I love my life and the areas of service for my church that fill it!

(Ooh! 63 of 63 files complete! On to the last set! 0 of 52...)

I thought that I'd get a break and some time to relax come Monday - all my photo projects and websites will be completed by then. But then I remembered.... Christmas is coming!! And in true Jess style, I'll be making at least some gifts for friends and family as I do every year. So those projects need to get under way soon! I'm very excited to spend Thanksgiving with Clark's family next week and to play host for our annual Christmas party in early December - joy, joy!! All this has seemed very overwhelming as I've typed it all out, but seriously I assure you - everything is in a great balance.

I've got some posts I've been working on/thinking about/taking pictures for for months now and they should be posted in the next couple weeks (but you know better than to hold your breath): cloth diapering basics and product reviews, a video tour of Lily Mae's finished room, a more detailed Lily Mae update, and monthly highlights in photoblog style. Stay tuned! So enough about me..... how are YOU guys?!? Is anyone still out there?

Road Trip with a Baby

2010-09-21T14:08:00.005-04:00

Hi again! 2 posts in 2 days, I *know*. But this one's shorter.

I wouldn't normally advertise that we're going out of town, but I need some advice. (And burglars beware: someone will be at our house taking care of our animals, so don't even think about busting in.) This Sunday we will leave to go to VA on a trip for Clark's work, and then the following Friday leave from there for a visit in MD for the weekend. On Sunday the 3rd, we'll drive straight back from MD to SC. On previous trips sans baby, home to VA was about a 7-8 hour trip, VA to MD was 4-5 hours, and MD to SC was about 9 hours, all including stops for gas and food.

We are not going to take any bottles on this week long trip. While Lily Mae has had about a dozen of them in her life, I really don't like giving them to her when I have a perfectly good supply on hand. Or on... well, nevermind. The only times she's gotten them is when I was involved in something that couldn't be stopped to satisfy her hunger, such as band practice or small group. On these road trips, though, we're really not in any rush, so there's no reason we can't make stops to feed her. She eats every 3 hours during the day and it takes about an hour from start to finish including a diaper change. I anticipate that the legs of the journey should increase to SC/VA - 9 hours, VA/MD - 6 hours, MD/SC - 12 hours.

So here are some questions I have for those of you with experience. Obviously there is no choice but to leave Lily Mae in her car seat while we're moving. But she's only three months old! She already gets fussy when she's bored, and that seems like such a long time for her to just be sitting there staring at the back of the backseat. She does sleep well in the car, but if she sleeps the whole day on the road then she'll be a total mess at night. I suspect that if that's the case, she'll get back to a normal schedule just when it's time to make the next leg of the trip, thus creating over a week of chaos for her.

How do I make such a long journey with a baby without totally screwing her up? I really need some good advice. I'm so very nervous about this trip. The weekend before last we went to visit Clark's parents who live just on the western side of the state only three hours away. I fed her before we left and should have stopped on the way to feed her again but she was just sleeping so peacefully. So we didn't stop. By the time we got there she was way over-hungry, didn't eat well, didn't sleep well, and didn't recover from it the entire time. It was a disaster for my baby (and for me by association). I'm trying to avoid that happening again, but since this trip is going to be almost three times as long my fears are running rampant. Please give me some advice on how to make this road trip the best it can be! Comment away!

Lily Mae Photography: An Announcement

2010-09-20T20:52:00.011-04:00

Hi, everyone! I've had Lily Mae Photography now for about three years, oh my! If you didn't know about it, I don't blame you - I haven't done a very great job at marketing myself up to this point. I've done photo shoots here and there for people I know, but I'm now really trying to get the word out and get some more clients! I'm hoping that my friends - especially local friends - will help me spread the word to help me build up my business.

Over the past year, my church - Journey Church - has grown up! We have moved from meeting in the sanctuary of a friendly local Baptist church into our very own building. We are in a fantastic location and we were able to design and construct the building according to our specific needs as a church body. We moved in and started services in April and things have really grown from there! Two Sundays ago we added a second service to our worship gathering lineup to accommodate the growth we've seen. It's a very exciting time for us!

You may be wondering what this has to do with my photography business. We have been attending Journey Church for 2.5 years now and are dedicated to serving with this body of believers and being on mission with God. Last summer, partners of the church (us) were given the opportunity to pledge amounts that they could give towards the new building fund. Having pledges helped our leadership be able to determine what we could or could not afford when they were planning the construction. Clark and I took time to think, pray, and plan for a certain amount that we would be able to give. We wanted a number that would not simply be "easy" for us to come up with; we wanted to put ourselves willingly in a state of sacrifice for our church as Christ did for us. (I don't think it would be wise to publicize the amount that God laid on our hearts here, but if you want to know please send me an email.) When planning on how we would raise the money, one of the conditions was that I would dedicate time and effort to my photography and whatever money I would earn from it would go directly towards our pledge until we had reached the total. When I say "directly" that's exactly what I mean - 100% of the money I make goes to the church - it's not extra spending money for us.

Not long after we made our pledge, I quit my full-time tech support job to pursue opportunities to serve at the church and advance Lily Mae Photography. And very shortly after that, we got pregnant and I started having pretty severe first trimester symptoms. I couldn't leave the house much due to ~~all day~~ morning sickness, but I did make an attempt to do some photo shoots when I could. I did not charge any money at that time because I was trying to beef up my portfolio for my website with a wider variety of portraits. My theory was that if the gallery page on my site was extensive and impressive, I would have a much easier time promoting myself successfully to the public. My second trimester was so-so and I continued my portfolio work with some maternity sessions. When I was finally satisfied with the content for my galleries and ready to start earning money, the third trimester began and life as I knew it ended. Preterm labor, bed rest, and a premature baby pretty much put my business priorities on pause.

Now that Lily Mae is almost three months old, I have been able to resume serving in various areas at Journey Church: children's worship, student ministry, small group, and several other servant teams that run behind the scenes. Now that I'm able to handle the baby and church responsibilities without too many snags, it's time to bring Lily Mae Photography back to life and finally start making a significant dent in our pledge! That's where I would LOVE some help and support from you guys, my friends. :)

My first major stride in this effort is my Christmas Portrait Special! I am currently booking the months of October and November for Christmas sessions. I can possibly book the first half of December as well, but the goal is for my clients to have their finished portraits in time to send them out to friends and family before Christmas comes! I love to shoot outdoors on location in natural light, and the upcoming cooler fall weather will make for a really enjoyable time for everyone. So what's so "special" about the Special? Why, the price, of course! My standard rate for family portrait sessions is $250 for a 2-hour shoot, but I'm taking 20% off!! So for a 2-hour family session, you'd pay $200 and receive 24-26 finished hi-res images on dvd. I'm also offering a promotional-only 1-hour family session for $125 (12-14 finished images). I would be happy to design and process orders for photo Christmas cards using a third-party printer for the cost of the order + a 10% charge. Sound good? It does to me! I think it's a good deal. :)

So now it's your turn. I'm hoping and earnestly praying that you will jump on board with me in this effort and either hire me yourself and/or spread the word to your friends and families. My website will be undergoing updates throughout this week and I will have new gallery images and features for your enjoyment. If you know a plethora of folks who might be interested, I have business cards that I would be happy to put in your hands to pass along to others. Just let me know if you'd like some!

I know this might have been a long read for you, but if you've made it this far, I do appreciate it greatly! You are a true friend and I am so, so grateful for your support!

Happy Birthday, Lily Mae!

2010-07-02T12:54:00.007-04:00

WOW.... haha, quite a bit has happened since my last post.

I was discharged from that hospital the day after I wrote it - June 18th. I got to go home and continued having contractions every day. Doc F said only to let him know when something was different, and nothing was for about a week. I was on "bedrest" but I still took care of some things around the house and I went to out to dinner one time, but I took it easy (I promise). Clark took some maternity pictures of me last Saturday which I was really happy about. That belly was something I really wanted to capture, and I'll post those pictures once I get around to editing them. Which could be a while because.......

Lily Mae was born!!!

I woke up to a teeny gush at 10:20 on Sunday morning (6/27/2010) but wasn't totally sold that my water had broken. After about 5 minutes the teeny gush turned into a huge, continuous one and I called the doctor on call (who was one of the docs in Doc F's practice, so I had met with her before - cool!). We got dressed quickly but not too rushed, followed our "leaving in a hurry" plan, grabbed our pre-packed hospital bags (win!), and started our half hour drive to the hospital. On the way there I called my parents and leisurely chatted for a few minutes. My contractions had started picking up and were getting very intense, but I could still focus and get through them. That is until about 5 minutes from the hospital when I started feeling like I had to push. OH.MY.GOODNESS. Let me tell ya: my labor didn't mess around. It got serious and it got serious fast.

We somehow managed to get to the hospital without giving birth in the car. I got wheeled into the delivery room not able to focus on anything but the pain. UGH. I got checked and was at 8 cm. Then 5 minutes later, 9 cm. Then 5 minutes later - no joke - 10 cm and time to push. It was incredibly intense: blood spewing everywhere, me throwing up, Clark *almost* passing out on the floor, doctors and nurses running in from every direction yelling various things at me because I had NO idea what to do or what was going on (other than the fact that I was going to have to somehow squeeze a baby out of me). The blood was due to my hurriedly-placed IV ripping out of my arm, and you know, normal birthing stuff. I give Clark a lot of credit though - he only got a bit faint because there was SO much blood (read: spraying all the way up to the top of the bed where he was standing). So anyway, I was pushing away and trying my best, but her heart rate plummeted suddenly and wouldn't come back up. I heard an "Oh shoot! We have to get this baby out NOW!" from the doctor, and then next thing I know a vacuum is being shoved up my lady bits and the doctor's pulling as hard as she can. It worked but not well enough so I had to have a big-time episiotomy (later found out it was 3rd degree if that means anything to you) so she could use forceps. I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty horrible, and I screamed as she did some of that stuff. In case you were wondering, yup! I did it with no medication (not like there would have even been time if I had wanted some). I felt e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, cutting and tugging and all. But I was able to push her out with the doctor's help and she was whisked away by the nurses. (The trouble had been 1. that her shoulder was pinching the umbilical cord and had cut off her blood supply and 2. she was face-up so I couldn't get her out fast enough.) But then she cried and I realized she was alive and ok!! Very, VERY happy moment for me. They brought her over to me and I got to hold her for about 20 seconds before they took her to the level II nursery. That 20 seconds was better than none at all, so I'm happy. If you're a stats kind of person, she weighed 5 pounds, 1 ounce and was 18 inches long, born at 12:00 noon on the dot. (We got to the hospital at 11:20! She was born before I could even be admitted!)

Afterward, I got my IV replaced so I could get some fluids, the doctor stitched me up (I finally got some local anesthetic down there), and nibbled on some lunch. I got word that Lily Mae was doing very well but that I couldn't go see her just yet. It was about 5 hours until I got to walk down to the nursery and meet her. But guys.......she is the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I got to hold her and kiss her and love her, and she is so, SO cute and couldn't be more perfect. She was breathing on her own and only needed an IV to keep her fluids up. She looks just like me (which is a little weird for me - I wasn't expecting that) but with Clark's very cute nose. Today makes her 5 days old and at this point we're an awesome breastfeeding team and she's gaining weight, she's got her IV out, and she's maintaining her own body temperature. She's only the slightest bit jaundiced so she's under phototherapy. Her bili ruben levels only have to go down one more point before she won't need anything at all! I'm thinking/hoping that she'll be fine with that and taken off the lights tomorrow. Whenever she's taken off, she'll have to be monitored for a day, and then she can come home!! Oh gosh I'm so excited! I think she'll be home on Sunday. :D

As for me, I was discharged on Wednesday but the nursery and postpartum nurses helped get me a hospitality room here at the hospital. It's just a courtesy room (free) and I get no care. I have to provide my own food and medicines and all that stuff, but it's right across from the nursery so I can be here for every feeding which I love (she's not being bottle-fed at all). I'm going to be staying here until Lily Mae gets to come home and that's super cool. But of course I've pretty much had my fill of staying in hospitals, so I'll be so thankful when we can all go home (and stay home).

I'll leave you with some pictures of the best, sweetest, and prettiest girl in the whole world! :)

Just a couple of minutes old!

The first time I got to meet her. (Probably should have gotten a picture of us together - still haven't done that. Oops!)

Oh gosh, this daddy-daughter team sure tugs at my heart strings :)

Come on, you can't tell me you don't want to just snuggle with her and never let go...

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty!! Update

2010-06-17T22:46:00.003-04:00

Why do I feel like a million bucks while I'm still in the hospital??

Because my sweet, generous friend (**see update at the bottom of this post!**) Genelle bought me an amazing gift to encourage me and make me feel better! No more ugly gray gown with stars and moons - now I have a designer delivery gown and it is SO cute! I feel like a young, healthy pregnant girl instead of generic patient #123 in room #456. Of course I don't want to sound shallow and vain, but it really does make a difference to have a cute outfit when you've been wearing the same old gross potato sack for three weeks. I was feeling as ugly as the gown itself, and it was just one more thing to be discouraged about. Genelle (**and friends**) were so perceptive to pick up on how I must have been feeling - what a gift of love and kindness God put in their hearts! Opening that package made me feel SO special and loved and has really brightened the past couple of days for me. I'm getting compliments from nurses and doctors and it feels awesome! Thank you a million times, Genelle (**and friends**)! You've made me feel incredible and cute!!

**UPDATE** I found out very quickly after writing this that this gown was a gift from several of my good friends from Maryland! Tons of thanks and gratitude also goes out to Amy, Mary, and Jen!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You ladies rock my world!!

Milestones Are Fun to Reach

2010-06-16T00:11:00.002-04:00

Today I'm 34 weeks pregnant! Who knew that after all this, our baby would still be in my belly? But, she is, and that's great! Sorry that I'm wearing the same exact thing as the last picture but it's all I have in terms of real clothes (and the shorts are Clark's). Still haven't really grown. Oh well, Lily Mae really is growing and that's what's important - they think that fluid levels are fluctuating which would explain why she is growing but my belly isn't.

So, I'm not sure if I want to go into all the details of what happened on Sunday night, because the result is a big fat "no change." Let's just see if I can say it fast, just for fun. Contractions were every 10 minutes all day on Sunday. At about 10:00 pm, they picked up to 5 minutes apart and started being painful for the first time ever. I got examined but was still at 5 cm. At midnight they set me up on the monitors for a couple hours, then checked me again but there was no change. However, my contractions had picked up to every 2 minutes and had become more painful. They moved me back to labor & delivery (room #7), set me up on IV fluids (yeah, I had to get my IV back - but I had one day without it!), and let me labor for a few hours. I got checked again - no change - labored for a few more hours and got checked a fourth time - still no change. SOOOO, they decided that even though I was having real labor contractions, they were not dilating me so they sent me back to antepartum again (room #8). After being up all night, we finally got to sleep at about 7:00 am Monday morning. Sometime after I woke up, the contractions fizzled out and since then they've been back to the way they were before - uncomfortable but not painful, and only a couple contractions an hour. And there you have it!

But there are two great things about today! First, reaching 34 weeks is kind of a big deal. The risks of all kinds of things go WAY down now! Lily Mae will probably be able to breathe on her own and she won't have as much trouble feeding - she may even to start breastfeeding right away if she's coordinated enough. We had passed many of the neurological concerns when we hit 32 weeks. The two main [small] risks left are her self-regulating her body temperature (since she's still so small and skinny) and jaundice. She may need to spend some time in the incubator to keep her warm, and UV lights can easily take care of the latter issue.

And the second great thing is that if I don't dilate any more by Friday, the doctor said I can go home!! Yup, even if I'm still contracting the way that I have been, the team is comfortable that Lily Mae will be big enough to not need serious intervention when she's delivered. One doctor I spoke with recommended that if I go into labor before 36 weeks that I come back to this hospital since they are better equipped for little babies. But if I make it beyond that point then I can go back to my original hospital. My main case doctor thinks that there's a 50/50 chance that I'll make it to Friday, but we've got 3 more days to find out how this is going to play out!

Is That a Light I See?

2010-06-12T09:10:00.003-04:00

Hi friends! It's been another four days since I updated, so here ya go!

Still in the hospital. Still pregnant.

On Tuesday evening, some time after I put up my last post, my contractions revved up again. Starting at around 6:30, they were consistent at about every 5 minutes and while they were strong enough to take my breath away, they weren't too intense and as always, not painful. I was even able to have some really great visitors during that time and didn't feel uncomfortable that they were seeing me in slight discomfort. The contractions continued until I went to bed and through the night - they even woke me up all night almost every hour. After the track record I've had here in the hospital, the nurses weren't concerned but said that if the contractions picked up in frequency or intensity to let them know. Well they didn't, and by about 11:00 the next morning they had fizzled out. Again. I feel like I'm turning into to boy who cried "wolf" and now no one takes me seriously. (Not that they don't take my symptoms seriously...but they're not so quick to ramp up the drama, hook me up to monitors, gather the doctors, get me examined, and send me over to labor & delivery anymore...I much prefer the "wait & see" approach as well.)

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday: all uneventful. I had 5-10 contractions inconsistently spaced each day, so really nothing happened at all. Well, actually, that's not totally true. On Wednesday, I had orders to get hooked up on the monitor for about 45 minutes just as a routine thing. About an hour after it was over, a doctor came in with an ultrasound machine; apparently, during my time on the monitor, the baby's heart rate dropped a few times and caused some concern. She wanted to make sure that the umbilical cord wasn't being compressed, and fortunately everything was fine. During the entire ultrasound, though, Lily Mae didn't move at all. After the doctor saw that her heart was fine, she spent 20 minutes essentially punching me in the belly with the probe to stimulate Lily Mae to move, and she never really did - it was pretty unnerving to watch. However, the doc did catch her practice her breathing exercises and was content that she was just sleeping and that it was nothing to worry about.

On Thursday, a different doctor came in to do another ultrasound, but this time it was just for fun and to do a growth scan to see how she's doing. She was moving all around during the scan which really put my mind at ease. Everything looked normal and great, and she's about 4 lbs. 4 oz. right now. I feel very good that she's crossed the 4 lb. mark. For her gestational age, she's in the 35th percentile for growth which isn't awesome, but it's not bad either. I was reassured that she's doing great, and that if she were born now she'd have great success and likely have no long-term complications. Awesome!

Yesterday was day 15 here on hospital bedrest and marked the start of my third week. Here's the plan as of this morning: if I dilate anymore whatsoever or if my water breaks, they will allow labor to progress and will induce me if it slows again. If by 34/35 weeks I still haven't delivered her - are you sitting down?? - they may send me HOME!!!! There's no specific date they have in mind and they're not making any promises, but it looks like that option is back on the table. With that said, even as well and stable as I've been doing the past few days, there is not a single doctor or nurse here who believes I'm going to make it that long being as dilated as I am. Here are some snippets from a conversation I just had with the high-risk OB and the resident doctor:

"The possibility of you taking home a baby with a permanent disability at this point is almost 0%."
"The main concerns for babies born between 32 and 34 weeks are respiratory weakness and secondary infections from being on a ventilator, but our team is very well equipped to deal with both of those."
"Baby girls consistently do better than boys when born prematurely, so you're in really good shape."

So really, who can complain about that? They're ready for this baby. Clark and I have come to terms with the situation and are ready to meet her. To be honest, as much as I want to go home asap, I would rather deliver her here in this hospital to be taken care of by this team of doctors rather than going home maybe at this time next week and delivering preterm at the other hospital where the neonatalology unit is not as advanced. My original doctor was fantastic (and even called to check on me yesterday), but my reasons for planning to deliver at the other hospital were that it was newer and closer to home. I didn't anticipate having to address a preterm delivery of my baby. Now, I'd really rather deliver here before they decide to send me home, because they're just better at this sort of thing. I want Lily Mae to have the best care possible, and that's here in this hospital. Make sense? So I guess I'm just afraid to say it so clearly because I'm scared of what you all will think of me but..... I want to go ahead and go into labor now before they decide to send me home. I want her to be born here. Even if it means that she might need some help breathing at first and she might not be strong enough to directly breastfeed right away, I have confidence that she'd be fine pretty quickly. I have a peace about the whole thing and I'm ready for her. I won't tell you what to pray for, but I do hope you guys understand my position.

In light of all of this, I want to remind you all of the passage of scripture from which little Lily Mae got her name. Who knew it would be so appropriate?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:27-34

ps - Today was supposed to be my baby shower. :-(
pss - The docs agreed that since it's quick and easy to put an IV in my arm, that I don't need to have one in anymore. I get to have the port taken out today, and they will only place a new one as needed. :-)

Let's Have Something Happy!

2010-06-08T19:24:00.004-04:00

I know I already posted today, but I'm feeling a little bit guilty for subjecting you friendly readers to such a huge amount of bummer posts lately. So I'm trying to make it up to you!

Today I'm 33 weeks pregnant! I snuck out of my hospital gown for a few minutes to put on normal human clothes, and I set up my Nikon so that Clark could take a decent picture instead of with our phones. I know I usually do bi-weekly pictures only on even numbered weeks, but this could be the last week that I'm pregnant so I wanted to get my belly captured quick. The only sad part is that my belly hasn't grown at all (and might have even shrunk a little) since my 30-week picture. Let's chalk that up to stress and hospital food...I've probably lost a little weight. But it's ok, little miss Lily Mae is still growing just fine! Now let's wait and see if we get a 34-week picture next Tuesday! :D

A Rare Post on Feelings - Let's Get Real!

2010-06-08T11:48:00.005-04:00

Ok friends, I'm sorry about my bummer of a post yesterday. My spirits were pretty low after what happened on Sunday. I'm doing better today and am not such a grumpipotimus thanks to lots of sweet friends who came to visit me last night. I've still got some thoughts though, and I don't know why but I feel like sharing. You know it's not normal for me to get all deep about feeeeelings and stuff, but there's a time and place for everything. I'm stuck in a hospital bed by myself, so the time is right, and my personal blog is definitely a good place for this sort of thing.

If you're going to read this, I do ask one thing: read it not with a whiney tone. I'm not complaining, just sharing feelings.

The only thing I'm going to be allowed to wear for the remainder of my pregnancy is a hospital gown with ugly stars and moons on it. I think the pregnant figure is cute, and I like maternity clothes. I was actually excited about being able to wear fun preggo outfits even when I'd get to be as big as a house, but now I can't. I thought I'd try to cheer myself up yesterday with a little retail therapy and buying some nursing shirts from Old Navy's website. Not only were their nursing tops not cute, but they had some very cute new maternity styles. Since there was no point whatsoever to buy new pregnancy clothes, it ended up being more of a bummer instead of something to cheer me up.

I really wanted to get belly pictures done. I'm a photographer, and I really enjoy documenting experiences and stages of life. While of course I'm a bit self-conscious and not a huge fan of pictures of myself, my first pregnancy was an opportunity that I wanted to capture to have fond memories of down the road. I was debating whether to pay someone else to do them, but I decided that even though it'd be way more difficult, I was going to do them myself. Good thing I didn't schedule anything and pay a deposit to another photographer, I guess....

My baby shower that had been planned for this upcoming Saturday was officially canceled yesterday. It will be rescheduled for about two weeks after Lily Mae is born. I know these things happen, but really, I don't think anyone is really prepared to have their first and only baby shower for their first pregnancy after the baby is born. It's just one of those exciting events during the anticipation of the baby. Granted, it's not horrible to have a baby shower afterwards, after all, when I threw a shower for my friend Kelly I planned for it to be after she had her baby on purpose. But then again, it was her third baby and the party was a surprise. Anyway, whatever....I'm sad about it. It's not about the gifts, it's about being able to celebrate the coming of my baby girl with my friends before she arrives. Oh well.

I don't get to really experience the rest of my pregnancy. I don't get to find out how big I'd get by the end or what I'd look like. And as silly as it sounds, I'm a little sad that I don't get to feel what it's like - aches and pains and everything else that comes along with later pregnancy. I feel.....jipped. Like...."Hey, wait! I want to have my whole pregnancy! Don't cut off my fun!"

I serve in several different areas in a church that I absolutely love. I have various responsibilities there and I take them all very seriously. When Clark and I started discussing having children, we agreed fully that in doing so we would remain committed to serving God's kingdom, his church, and his people. Our lives weren't going to stop even though adjustments would need to be made. We weren't planning on taking more than a month off from our responsibilities with the children, the youth, the band, and the other teams we're on. That's still not too far from what will happen...a month after Lily Mae's born, at least one of us will start picking up our commitments again. But now we're not only having to take time off afterward, but also before she comes. Things happen which result in a shift in priorities, so writing all this seems silly and I'm sorry. But I just love serving in the areas that I do, and I feel a strong conviction to stay involved as best I can. It causes me a lot of anxiety to not be able to follow through with my commitments - I feel a bit like a failure and a good-for-nothing just laying here like a lump in the hospital.

Something that surprised me: I won't ever be able to play my guitar while I'm pregnant with Lily Mae again. I don't love playing guitar, but I do it quite often out of need - I lead children's worship at church, and since I do it alone, I have no choice but to both play and sing. I'm not great at playing, but I get the job done and the kids seem to enjoy it enough. My belly has been growing and the past few times that I was able to lead, it kind of made it awkward to play - I'd have to position my guitar on the side of my belly and jam out rock-star style. I wasn't sure how much longer I'd physically be able to do it, but I wasn't prepared to stop just yet. Lily Mae could hear me play, and something about that was very special to me. My guitar pressed up against her ear....I was playing totally for God, but there was something sweet about her being so close and hearing my music. But now I won't be able to play again while she's in my belly, and that makes me WAY more upset than I ever thought it would. **I know if I don't say something, one of you wonderful local friends will offer to bring my guitar to me here in the hospital, to which I say thank you, I appreciate the thought, but I wouldn't feel comfortable playing or singing here in the room.**

I won't be able to hold my baby or even see her when she's born. She will be taken by the NICU team immediately and will get evaluated and setup with what she needs. She'll get finished up right about the time the birthing process is over (you moms know what that means) and they will try to wheel her incubator into my room so I can see her for a minute or two before she's taken away. Clark may be able to follow her depending on how well she's doing, but I will obviously need to stay in bed at least for a while. This is one reason I'm determined to not have an epidural - it will be much sooner that I'll be able to get up and go to where she'll be. Granted, the longer I stay pregnant here the better this situation could be, but for now that's the plan. And based on that, I don't think I need to go into much detail about my feelings on the subject.

But just for good measure, let me mention some positive things:
- The nurses and doctors are really great, they're all friendly, and they've been taking great care of me.
- The food is really good - I have an elaborate menu from which I can order whatever I want at any time during the day.
- I have my laptop and free wireless, so I can stay a little bit connected during my stay here.
- In this antepartum department, I'm allowed 30 minutes total of "up" time every day which is to include trips to the bathroom and showers. This is an awesome thing, because I'm not afforded those luxuries whenever I'm in the labor & delivery department.
- Antepartum rooms have very comfortable beds and I'm getting good sleep.
- I have a window through which, from a certain angle, I can see trees and the sky. And I've been told that it's sweltering hot outside, so I'm probably more comfortable being inside.
- I've had lots of amazing visitors to keep me company and cheer me up. I am so grateful for the people in my life...God has truly blessed us with genuine friends who give very real encouragement.
- I am in a hospital with one of the best neonatal units in the entire country. Whenever Lily Mae is born, there is nowhere safer she could possibly be.
- I have an amazing husband who loves me, supports me, leads me effectively, and sacrifices greatly for his family. He has been a pillar of strength during this trial and there's no person I'd rather have by my side. Clark is such a huge blessing to me.
- Even though I've written about all these sad feelings, all things considered, I'm a pretty happy gal who's excited to meet her little one.
- God is always good, and he's got Lily Mae's life in his hands. I have total joy in that, and though I'm sad about some things, this is the way God wants to bring our baby into the world. It's hard to be discontent with a perfect plan :)

Still Waiting for Our Girly

2010-06-07T12:55:00.002-04:00

Last time I updated you guys was last Thursday, so I suppose it's time again to let you know what's going on. The short of it: not much.

I'm still in the hospital in the antepartum department. I haven't changed rooms at all. Friday and Saturday were completely uneventful. Maybe a couple mild contractions here and there, but nothing I couldn't talk through, so therefore no big deal. Yesterday, the doctor wanted to hook me up to the monitor and maybe check my progress with an exam since it had been a little while since the last one. Before I got all strapped up to the monitors, though, I started getting stronger, more regular contractions again. I ended up having pretty intense contractions every 5-7 minutes all.day.long from about 10 am until I went to bed around midnight....that's 14+ hours, guys. I was checked twice yesterday and....you guessed it: no cervical change. Still 5 cm, 100% effaced.

Today I've had only a few contractions and they're hardly noticeable. I'm totally exhausted from yesterday - let me just tell you if you don't know - having contractions feels like an intense workout, and after all that I'm physically worn out and a little sore. Emotionally I'm even more exhausted and frustrated. I've felt like crap yesterday and so far today essentially for nothing. And because of yesterday's contraction drama, it's totally set in stone that I'm not allowed to leave. I've been in the hospital for 11 days, and who knows how much longer it will go on like this.....it could be weeks. Everyone keeps telling me that one of these days very soon the contractions will start actually doing something, but after all this, the light at the end of the tunnel seems a little dim and far away.

Clark has been going to work during the days, but is always on call if anything should happen. My parents had to leave on Saturday, because even though my life as I knew it had to end (for now), that's not the case for everyone else. I apologize for my downer of a tone in this post, I'm just a bit down after yesterday. I do know that God is good and perfect, and he's got a reason for me being in the hospital like this. He knows exactly when Lily Mae will be born, and I trust in his timing. It's a little hard for me to understand how I can be glorifying his name and building up his kingdom while I'm in this situation, but at least I know that I don't have to have the answers...I just have to persevere and keep my faith strong. I'm lonely here in this room by myself, but I know I'm not alone. The sacrifice God made for his children is far greater than the sacrifice I'm being called to make for Lily Mae. He sent his only son to die for us so that we could join his family and be in relationships with him; all I'm being asked to do is stay in a comfy hospital bed and be waited on hand and foot by professionals until my little girl joins our family. I just hope I can keep that at the forefront of my mind when I start feeling selfish, like now. Keep on praying, friends, our little family needs your faithful petitions! Love you guys! :)

Lily Mae is a Week More Ripe!

2010-06-03T22:38:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow marks a week in the hospital, which means one more week that Lily Mae has ripened in my belly. There's been drama, but at the moment, things are stable. (That could change in 10 minutes, but for now, stable. Haha)

Let's see....my last update was on Monday from the antepartum department. I woke up 5:00 am Tuesday morning with lots of contractions, was monitored for a couple hours, and was then transferred back to labor & delivery. I was put back on a magnesium sulfate drip but had continued to contract the entire day. After 12 hours on the IV, I was taken off at 9:00 pm and to everyone's surprise, my contractions actually slowed. So at around midnight that night, I was moved back to the antepartum department (our fourth room, if you're counting). We got all settled and unfortunately Clark had a horrible sleeping situation in that room. Poor guy. At 4:30 that morning, I woke up again with contractions. I was monitored again, had an exam, and was moved back over to labor & delivery at 8 am yesterday morning. I stayed there for a while with pretty intense contractions, but they slowed down again by around 2 pm. After that, I was moved back to antepartum where I've stayed up to now. I've made it over 24 hours in this sixth room and it's been completely uneventful.

I've had lots of fantastic visitors who have really helped to pass the time. I've had a few contractions throughout the day today, but nothing to write home about. I'm at 5 cm, 100% thinned out right now. The doctors have teamed up and decided that if I progress beyond this at all, they are going to go ahead and help my labor to get her out - there will be nothing else done to stop labor. However, since my contractions sometimes don't do anything, they're not going to go ahead and start active labor yet since they're unsure how long my body will hold it off naturally. Lily Mae has been perfect the entire time and everyone here is very confident that she'd be fine with probably no long-term side effects. While there's of course a chance that I could stay this way for a couple more weeks, labor is predicted within the next couple of days. I'm told that even though things are slow right now, because of the way things have been, it would be very unusual for something not to happen soon. We're just playing a waiting game now, but should I make it to 34 weeks, I'll be induced at that point to prevent infection to the baby.

So, here's a really terrible picture of me at 32 weeks, 2 days. It doesn't look like you're going to get a nice pretty picture of me in a cute outfit against my wall at home - in fact, it's official that I will not be allowed to go home at all before I deliver. So there's the update! We'll have our little girl soon (and truth be told, I'm starting to get less worried and a little more excited to meet her)!

Specific prayer requests:
- That Lily Mae would be born as strong and healthy as possible
- That she would have no long-term complications, and minimal short-term ones
- That I would somehow figure out this labor thing, as my childbirth prep classes hadn't started before I was admitted...I don't know what I'm doing
- That my pain would be bearable - I am pretty determined to do this thing without pain meds
- That she would stay head-down, her umbilical cord wouldn't get crimped between her head (that's a little concern), and that she'd tolerate labor well as to avoid a C-section
- That Clark and I would continue to support one another through this trial

God is good, and we've got faith!

Early Bird Gets the NICU....

2010-05-31T22:37:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone,

Well, not such a happy blog post this go 'round. I'm in the hospital in preterm labor...here's the whole story.

Last Thursday at around 6pm we were on our way to serve at our church's student ministry. I had been noticing a LOT of Braxton-Hicks contractions the whole time we were there, and on into the night afterward. I say Braxton-Hicks, because they were similar to what I'd been having for weeks and they weren't painful. I was having about 6 an hour, and you're *supposed* to give your doctor a call if you have more than 4 an hour. I didn't feel like it was any cause for concern though, so I just went to bed. On Friday, I went to my regularly scheduled check-up appointment with Doc F. I had been having the same kinds of contractions all the way to the hospital (his office is in the hospital itself). I mentioned the contractions to him during my visit, and he said that he wasn't concerned at all but that he'd check me anyway. After he finished, his normal, calm demeanor changed as he said, "I am SO glad I just checked you. You're 2-3 cm dilated and are considered to be in preterm labor. I've got to send you down to labor and delivery right now, and I'll need to transfer you to another hospital with a more advanced neonatology department so they can take care of you."

So, they wheeled me downstairs, and medical people whirled me into a frenzy of treatment. I got set up with an IV of magnesium sulfate to slow the contractions and protect Lily Mae's brain from bleeding and cerebral palsy should she be delivered. I was shot up with some steroids to beef up her lungs, and then a transport team came to take me to the other hospital. By the time I got there, my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. Eventually, I was examined again by the new hospital's doctors and found that I was a full 3cm at that point. An ultrasound of little miss Lily Mae showed that she looked perfect, though, and there was no specific reason that I was going into labor. Things settled down and I started to rest in the labor and delivery wing, but 20 minutes later nurses and doctors rushed in and said her heart rate had dropped and they needed to do another ultrasound. I got checked again, and in that 20 minutes I had gone from 3 to 4 cm, and the ultrasound showed that the umbilical cord was being compressed between me and her head - thus the reason for her heart rate dropping. We got that settled down, but the doctors thought at that point that labor was coming pretty quickly. Thankfully, it didn't, and I made it through the night without having her.

I spent the next day continuing the magnesium IV and felt pretty bad. They gave me another dose of steroids for her lungs, and the contractions eventually slowed to about once an hour. They checked me yesterday - Sunday - and I had not progressed any further so the doctors felt comfortable moving me to the antepartum department. I'm still here in a much more comfortable room, and I'm allowed to get up and go to the bathroom, eat, and shower. However, I'm not being constantly monitored anymore, so it's a bit difficult to know where things stand at this point. After the magnesium was stopped (I could only be on it for so long), I did a round of another drug to stop contractions - finished that, and then started a third type. That third type was a drug that was only speculated to help slow contractions, but it hadn't been proven or been found to be highly effective. I've felt pretty bad all day as it significantly lowered my blood pressure - I had headaches and chest pain, and an EKG showed that my heart was acting a little funky. The doctor decided that it was not a good medicine for me and that I should not continue it. So now I'm on nothing to stop the contractions (but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll pick back up - let's hope they don't).

The plan for now is that I will be on permanent bedrest until she's born :( It could be a few days, or we may be able to hold things off for a few more weeks, but none of the medical people here are very optimistic that I'll make it to full-term. I get the impression that everyone is just hoping to get to the 34-week milestone which is about 2 weeks away. I'm told that there's a chance that I could go home and be on bedrest there, but we'll really have to play things by ear for at least a few more days here at the hospital to make a better evaluation. So that's that! For now she's still cookin', and I hope she won't need much intervention or help when she's born!

My parents came down from Maryland to be with me, my mother-in-law Mary came for a couple of days, and Clark and friends have been a huge support to me - I don't know what I'd do without you guys. I love reading emails and comments on here and Facebook, so if you feel like keeping me occupied for a few minutes while I'm sitting in bed, send some words my way!

I'll be updating on Facebook, Twitter, and on here if I get the chance, but I apologize in advance if you don't hear much from me. I've been here since Friday afternoon and just now have felt like updating the ol' blog, so bear with me. But please, PLEASE know with confidence that I appreciate every prayer you've offered to God...I know without a doubt that he is all over this situation, knows exactly what's going to happen, and has intended every bit of it to play out exactly as it will. Just gotta have some patience to find out how it will turn out!

Plans for Lily Mae's Room

2010-05-25T22:29:00.010-04:00

Whew! I hope you weren't holding your breath after all the suspense of my last post, but in case you were, relax! Exhale! You finally get to know what Lily Mae's room is going to look like!!

First, the layout. Our bedroom is downstairs, and her room is on the second floor - boo. Her room is right at the top of the stairs, is carpeted, has slanty ceilings and a big window, and has a nice walk-in closet to store all her cute clothes. (Well, it's nice for me, but due to said slanty ceilings, Clark doesn't really fit in there very well.)

And now, the theme. Picture this: Hot Pink. Orange. Polka Dots. Snoopy. Cool, right? Wait - what? That sounds crazy and confusing to you? Maybe a picture would help clear things up.

Theeeere we go. See, now it's a cool theme, right? If you've known me for much time, you probably know that I love Snoopy. For a long time I resisted the idea of a Snoopy theme, but what can I say? I caved. But p.s. - companies do NOT make Snoopy baby nursery collections that are girly. In fact, there are only three collections currently being manufactured - a sports Snoopy theme (blue), a baby Snoopy theme (blue and green), and a new "vintage" Snoopy theme that features classic Peanuts characters (as opposed to the "baby" characters - and it's also blue). So, as I was on the hunt for girly Snoopy bedding, I found this twin bedding set and bought it up pronto. I'm in the process of converting the comforter and sheets into a nursery set. So far I've finished the crib bumper and crib skirt. Still left are the curtains, the laundry hamper, a blanket wall hanging, and a thingy to hang on the changing table to hold diapering stuff. I'm not a master seamstress by any means, but I've been doing really well so far. :)

All my fabric, seam-ripped and ready to sew!

The wall with the window will be painted white with two horizontal orange stripes. The left and right walls will be a dark pink - a shade or two darker than the hot pink on the comforter - after all, we don't want to blind our baby with extremely bright colors. The fourth wall will be chocolate brown. Accents in the bedding and throughout the room are brown, so it all ties in nicely, I promise.

I designed some coordinating graphic panels to hang on one wall. My design had a ton of pink and orange, but not enough Snoopy. Of course I had to find a way to make him more of a focus! It's a three-panel series, but I'll just show you the first one I made for now. And these panels are already printed and framed, and the colors do match the fabrics. They look a little screwy on the computer, though.

And I guess the last thing I'll show you right now is a used mobile that I converted into a matching one! No offense to those of you who like teddy bears and very "classic" looking nursery decor, but I'm a contemporary kind of girl. I bought this mobile for $8 and couldn't get those bears off fast enough! And yes, as you can imagine, those Woodstocks really do fly around Snoopy when it's all wound up! :)

Before: Ugly, boring bears that look like they're on hangsman's nooses.

After: AWESOME SNOOPY MOBILE.

I could show you the mobile mounted on the actual crib instead of my dining room chair, and then you'd also be able to see the crib bumper and skirt that I'm so proud of...but then that would further delay getting this post up and we can't have that. I'll show you that some other time along with lots of other fun things!

Tell me what you think of what I've planned! Err, unless you think it sucks. Maybe don't tell me what you think if that's what you think...that might hurt my feelings. :-P

A Preggo Update on an Odd Week - I Can Hardly Stand It, but Just for You, I Will...

2010-05-25T00:30:00.005-04:00

Another blog?? So soon?? If anyone even still reads this blog, I'm sure you're shocked. But I just have so many things to share!

Today I'm 31 weeks pregnant, meaning Lily Mae will probably be here sometime in the next 9 weeks. Sure there's a chance that I'll go longer than that, so fine - 10 weeks at the very most. I'm guessing though that she'll be born between 39 and 40 weeks. I don't know why I think that, but I do.

No, her room isn't finished. Not even close. The walls are not painted, the furniture that we do have isn't ready, and there's furniture still to get. There are wall hangings to hang, curtains to make, on and on it goes..... And no, we don't have the things we need yet. Don't get me wrong - I understand that many mothers all over the world give birth to babies and have virtually nothing, but their babies still survive and grow and thrive. I'm not suggesting that I really can't live without "stuff," however, we have been very blessed to have the means to provide nice material things for our little girl. I've spent a considerable amount of time and effort researching the things we'll need, and I pared down my list to what I considered to be the essential things. There aren't too many things that I've chosen that are superfluous or unnecessary, although I do have to admit that I registered for a pack of baby socks that look like slippers....proooobably don't really need those. Ah well, I've been assured that it's silly to worry about these things, because everything will come together in the end.

So, about Lily Mae's room...... I guess after all this time and all these empty promises, I still haven't even shared with you about what my plans for it are. Oops! So here's a new promise: right after I post this entry, I will not get up from my computer until I've written out my plans and prepared another post for tomorrow. I know, I know - the suspense is killing you.

My friend Layna is throwing me a baby shower! I'm really excited! I don't enjoy being the center of attention and I don't like being put on the spot, so Layna has kindly prepared me by telling me the things she's got planned. That put my anxieties to rest and now I'm ready to just enjoy the time with my friends, celebrating the awesome life God's making in me :) My lovely mom is going to be coming down as well so that she can be a part of the party, and I'm really excited about that! The shower is in a couple of weeks and I'll be sure to post some pictures afterwards and let you know how it goes.

Well, no 31-week belly picture. Because I've been in the habit of doing biweekly pictures, posting one on an odd week would just throw everything off (and my gosh, we just can't have that!). Just think of what I looked like in my 30-week picture, but imagine my belly being a little bigger. Yup, that's what I look like right about now :-P OoOh, except with a rockin' tan from the beach!!

Come back tomorrow to see plans for her room! I will.not.fail you readers this time!!

Look at Me! I'm Legit!!

2010-05-24T23:51:00.002-04:00

Well, today's mega blogging plans were thwarted by a need to make myself a legit lady of business. I've been repairing iPhones of late because, well, I'm good at it and it's cool to get a little moolah, haha.

I've fixed a bunch of them now and have had so much success (and have gotten nicely paid) that I advertised my services on craigslist. I've gotten three responses so far in about a week and a half of the ad being posted. Two of them happened while I was on vacation last week so I haven't been able to meet those people yet to fix their phones, but I had a third response this afternoon and will be meeting my first customer tomorrow evening! I spent the day coordinating with her and will be fixing her iPhone's cracked glass panel tomorrow. Now don't you worry, I have plenty of common sense - I'll be meeting her in a neutral, public place with lots of people around.

I spent the day researching and customizing a liability and repair service agreement for customers to sign so that I'm well protected. And finally, I just finished making a little starter business card to give out. It's nothing special, but these people need to have my contact info somehow, right? So friends, enjoy my little business card picture (from which you'll get absolutely NO information about me...enjoy all the fun smudging!) Oh, and wish me luck for tomorrow!!

Just a 30-Week Belly Picture!

2010-05-23T23:15:00.002-04:00

Just got back from an awesome week of vacation at Myrtle Beach!! I'll have lots of time to write and update (and maybe even schedule some regular posts for this week) tomorrow, but I just wanted to share my 30-week picture with you guys. No sense writing out a 30-week update seeing as how I'm already pretty much 31 weeks along. Come back tomorrow for some more bloggy goodness!

T minus 12 weeks...

2010-05-05T23:52:00.002-04:00

My 28-week doctor's appointment went really well yesterday! I got to see Doc F - my original doctor at that practice who I haven't seen since I was 12 weeks along - he's my favorite. He was really pleased with everything from my belly size to my weight gain. Lily Mae's heartbeat was strong as usual (heart rate of 141). The only little problem that I'm having is a little bit of low blood pressure issues, but it's common and nothing to be concerned about. In my last post, I had trouble describing what I was feeling, but apparently, what I was feeling was almost fainting or passing out from a rapid blood pressure drop. I've never fainted before, so no wonder I couldn't describe it. It just felt strange to me. Anyway, Doc F just said that when I feel it start to happen that I just need to sit or lay down on my side. Easy enough!

I also had my 1-hour glucose tolerance test. I'd been warned about the nastiness of the glucose drink, but the fruit punch flavored one I got really wasn't unpleasant at all. It was almost yummy! The lab tech told me that they'd get the results in within the next business day and I'd only be called if I failed and needed to return for the 3-hour test. Well, I didn't get called today so I must have passed...yay! I don't have gestational diabetes!

Lastly, since I'm still on a primarily vegetarian diet, the doctors wanted to check my iron levels to make sure I didn't need to add an iron supplement with my vitamin. Everything checked out with that, too...no problems (other than the finger prick to check my hemoglobin - I freaked out in my head a little bit...another good reason I don't have diabetes)!

Today I got to go to the pool with my friend Angie and her sweet baby boy. It was a great day, and yes, I wore my bikini. Belly exposed and all! We had a really nice time together and I got a little color which is always nice. I fully plan on more days at the pool and beach this summer whenever the opportunity comes up!

Here's a picture from yesterday!! I'm reaching great new widths.....

Can You Believe It? 2nd Trimester Summary Already...

2010-05-03T21:23:00.003-04:00

Well, tomorrow morning brings the THIRD trimester for me and Miss Lily Mae. This is nuts. Great and exciting, but nuts all the same.

So, like I did as my first trimester came to a close, I'll do a little bit of a symptom review for how weeks 14-28 have treated me. This posts contains nothing gross like the first one, though, thank goodness! But like that first one, I'll rate things on a 1-10 scale, 10 being the worst. Here goes!

Abdominal Pain: 5. I was expecting that my growing belly would feel a little bit more "natural," but it really does just feel like a tight, hard ball attached to my front. It's not always uncomfortable, but it does get achy from time to time and is one of my more common complaints. I'm still in the stage where I'm enjoying my bigger belly, but sometimes I do wish the my skin and muscles could just have a little time to relax. It kind of feels like I've been doing crunches constantly and my core muscles are just worn out. This one's obviously not going to get any better until it's over, though!

Back Pain: 4. It varies day to day and I think it has more to do with how Lily is laying in there and if she's pressing on my sciatic nerve at that particular moment. I was concerned about back pain because I had some lower back issues a couple years ago and needed a cortisone injection in my sacral iliad joint. Fortunately, it hasn't been an issue. My pain has been in short, sharp bursts as opposed to chronic achiness, and I think things are probably better that way.

Leg Cramps: 1. Haven't been bad at all! When I wake up during the night to go to the bathroom, I can feel my calves, feet, and toes being a little cranky. If I point my toes, I feel the charlie horses galloping in. So, I just don't point my toes, and I don't get any cramps. Works for me!

Heartburn: 1. I had never had heartburn before. Ever. In my whole life. Now, I've had it once. Haha! It wasn't bad (I don't think), because it was completely bearable without medicine - just a little uncomfortable. However, I could see how if that sensation was more intense it would be a horrible feeling. For those of you who get heartburn regularly, I'm sorry!

Skin Changes/Darkening: 3. No darkening, but yeah, there've been some changes on the side of more oily and I'm NOT a fan. I think this is more common in the first trimester, but things have started to heat up here in SC so that might have something to do with it. It's manageable, but I do like clear skin and I get frustrated when I don't have it.

Cravings: 0. Bummer! I thought this was a fun, quirky symptom that every pregnant woman got, but I've had any cravings for anything at all! I've had more of an appetite in general, but not for anything specific. In fact, when I'm hungry it's a frustrating process to even think of something I want to eat.

Weight Gain: yes? I think this is funny that it's listed as a "symptom" on most sites. Really? I thought weight gain was an assumed side effect of pregnancy. Anyway, I don't know how to rate this, but I have been steadily gaining weight at a healthy rate, and I'm right on track to hit the middle of my target range of 25-35 pounds.

Braxton-Hicks Contractions: 6-7. I've had these for the past few weeks. They're not really "painful," but they are slightly annoying, a little uncomfortable, and sometimes catch me off-guard and I have to stop what I'm doing and wait for it to stop. BH contractions by definition shouldn't be painful, so I think I've got them going pretty strong for what they are.

Stretch Marks: 0. I don't have any right now, and I don't want to jinx it by saying anything else!

Nasal/Gum Problems: 2. No gum bleeding and no nasal congestion. But I've had three random nosebleeds!!

Dizziness: 2. I've had a couple "sinkin' spells" as Clark would say. There have been a handful of occasions where I've gotten very lightheaded and had to lay down for a while. Nothing serious or concerning, though.

Shortness of Breath: 2. This has corresponded to the lightheaded times I just mentioned. Oh, and going up the stairs, haha!

Swelling: 3. I've still only gotten mild swelling in my feet and nowhere else. When I was up in MD with my family after my dad's accident, my toes and ankles swelled up for the first time after my plane ride. My ankles went down after about 2 days and haven't swelled again since, but my toes puff up if I've been on my feet for a good part of the day. I do what I call a "light test" to see if my toes are swollen. When they aren't, I can hold my foot up to a light and see light in between my toes. When they're swollen, no light gets through. Yeah, I'm a nerd.

Tomorrow morning I'll have my 28-week appointment and my glucose tolerance test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes (I don't suspect I've got a problem). This is my last "monthly" appointment - after this, I'll be going to bi-weekly appointments. I never posted my 26-week picture or summary. It's a bit late for the summary, but I'll post the picture anyway, haha. Pardon my slighty-grumpy face - it was taken the day after I got back from MD and I was tired and stressed and what-have-you. Tomorrow I'll post an update about the appointment and a new, happier 28-week picture. Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

What a C-R-A-Z-Y Couple of Weeks

2010-04-24T18:43:00.005-04:00

Well, hello there!

Where to begin....my gosh, these past 2 1/2 weeks since my last post have been NUTS. And not in an exciting, happy, I'm-doing-lots-of-wild-and-crazy-things-I-enjoy kind of way. Not at all. SO, here we go, hang on tight!

I know I posted on Thursday, April 8th. But let's rewind to a couple of things that I deliberately left out of that post, just so you can get the full effect of The Crazy. Last year, on April 6th, one of my best friends gave birth to her first baby by scheduled C-section. At her 20-week ultrasound with that pregnancy, her doctors found some abnormalities that after further tests revealed that her baby boy would not be able to survive after birth. Baby Jaxton lived for five hours that day before he passed, and it was devastating to her and her husband, their families, and all the friends who loved them dearly. I haven't discussed it on this blog before now, except for a couple of vague references like on my 20-week update post. Anywho, those friends of mine wanted to do something on Jaxton's anniversary to remember him, and they asked Clark and I and another couple to join them for dinner and an evening together. We had a good time with them - we always do - but it was still a difficult night for us all as we remembered the sweet little baby that brought us together on that night.

The next day, Wednesday the 7th, Clark and I attended a funeral for his step-grandfather. His biological grandfather died over 10 years ago, and his grandmother re-married a charming man named Bob. Bob was a doctor and was very smart, and for a man in his mid-80's he was very "with it" and fun to be around. We weren't incredibly close to him, but he was still family and we were sad to see him go, and even more sad that his grandmother had lost another husband.

I wrote and posted my last entry on the 8th, and then, Friday the 9th, dun dun dunnnnnn.....my dad got hit by a car in Baltimore. Yeah, you read right. (Most of you regular readers follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook, so this isn't news to a lot of you.) My dad is mostly blind and can't drive, but he owns a store in inner-city Baltimore. He walks and uses public transportation to get to work every day during the week, and he always takes the same route and is very careful. On that Friday, he was walking to the subway station as usual and was hit by a woman driving a Toyota. He was in the crosswalk and was hit on his totally blind side - he never even saw it coming. He was rushed to shock trauma. Fortunately, he lived through it, but from what I'm told it didn't look good at first. The damage included a bruised and bleeding brain and a huge gash on his head, a collapsed lung, a fractured clavicle, pelvis, and foot, and various cuts, bumps, and bruises all over his body. I flew up to MD the following morning to be with him and to help my mom. His head needed constant monitoring, he had a chest tube in place and needed chest x-rays every few hours, and really couldn't move much - he was obviously in a lot of pain. We spent the next 5 days in the hospital by his side, and happily he showed huge improvements every day. After daily sessions with physical, occupational, and speech therapy, and after his chest tube was removed and doctors were no longer concerned about his head, he was discharged to go home - he was even considered to be doing "too well" to warrant being sent to a rehab facility. Get this - he was admitted on Friday and was released to go home the following Wednesday - praise the Lord! The doctors and nursing staff took great care of him and God just shared a huge miracle with our family - we are so blessed! After bringing him home, he still showed steady signs of improvement though things were difficult and he couldn't do much of anything without help. During my stay there, he had a couple of sessions with in-home physical therapists, and he was eventually able to make it up and down the stairs, take a shower and sleep in his own bed (not the downstairs couch), and even go back to his store to see his employees and customers! It was an unbelievable transformation to be able to witness in the 10 days that I stayed there with him. I had flown up with a one-way ticket, not sure of when I'd be coming home, but was able to fly back this past Tuesday the 20th. From what he and my mom have told me, he's still doing very well and has made it back to the store a couple more times. I think my mom is going to be able to return to her normal work schedule next week since my dad is growing more and more independent every day. Really though, all glory be to God for his amazing healing powers, and thanks to Jesus Christ for loving me so much to bless me in this way!

My first day back was this Wednesday, and even though I think I hung in really well during all the chaos, it all caught up with me once I got home. It must have been God giving me the strength to hang in there and do what needed to be done as far as helping my family, but when I got home I was just.plain.exhausted. I was achy, tired, moody, and sensitive...not so good. I went to our Bible study on Wednesday night, lunch with a friend on Thursday afternoon, our church's brand new student ministry (for middle/high school students) on Thursday night, lunch with Clark on Friday afternoon, and dinner with friends that night. Today was supposed to be a quiet, peaceful day with Clark at the beach, but bad weather ruined that plan :-(

But about dinner last night.... those friends I mentioned earlier, who lost their baby last year? They (Matt and Layna) are pregnant again and had their 20-week ultrasound yesterday afternoon. Because their last 20-week ultrasound was the beginning of a horrible experience, it's pretty needless to say that it was a pretty stressful day for them yesterday. But the news is good this time!!!!!! The ultrasound showed a perfectly healthy baby girl!! Her name is McKayden Joye (spelling isn't final yet) and she's going to be Lily Mae's best friend :-) Layna's due date is only 6 weeks behind mine, and it's been a lot of fun sharing the experience with her so far. But now the fun can really begin, because the anxiety of the health of both our little ones has been lifted! Last night's dinner was with them to celebrate their amazing news, and it was a really great night :-D Just had to share that with you guys after such a downer of a post.

God is good no matter what our situation might be. He is always faithful, always righteous, and always glorious. I don't talk about him nearly as much as I should on this blog, but the truth is that he means everything to me and I've given him my whole heart. Even if any of the craziness of the past couple of weeks had not ended in a blessing or a miracle, the character of God never changes and I'll love him forever and ever. :-)

Oh, and for those of you who've known what's been going on all this time, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your petitions in prayer for me and my family. On top of all the other blessings he's given me, you brothers and sisters in Christ are truly a treasure. Thanks for all of your constant encouragement!

A couple of happy pictures for you:

One bittersweet thing about funerals is getting to see people you don't get to see as often as you'd like. This is me and my at-the-time preggo cousin-in-law Katie...she has since given birth to her baby girl Emma Kate!

And here's my dad - alive, healing, and back at home after his accident!

Things are calming down and getting back to normal now. I do have a 26-week picture and update for you that I'll post soon, even though I'm even closer to 27 weeks now. Oops! And I've taken pictures of some things for Lily's room that I want to share with you. All coming soon! (I know I always say that, but had these last couple of weeks not been such a whirlwind, I'm sure I would have gotten around to it already!)

24 Weeks... Where's the Time Going?

2010-04-08T22:13:00.003-04:00

Howdy, readers! I cannot believe that it's been 2 weeks since my last post. Seriously, it feels like I just wrote and posted it a couple of days ago. If that's a sign of how the rest of this pregnancy's going to go, then I think I'm in some time warp trouble.
Well anyway, I turned over the 24 week leaf on Tuesday. I also had a doctor's appointment that morning, but it was just a very basic one...listen to the heartbeat (I mean, that never gets old) and get measured. I'm big enough to get the measuring tape now! At my last appointment four weeks ago, my belly just got poked at a little bit. I don't know what the measurement was, but the doc said it was exactly what it should be. I did get a little bit of "try to lay off the juice and drink water instead"....as in, I gained a little more weight than I should have and I need to make smarter choices if I don't want to go overboard by the end of this thing. But right now I'm still fine and if I hang back a bit now, then I can still be right on target. Goodbye, second dessert after dinner (and third). (And fourth).
In other news, it's summer weather here now, yay! Flowers are blooming as if it's spring, but the temperatures tell a different story. I love the heat AND the humidity. Bring it on!
My projects for Lily Mae's room are coming along. I designed, printed, and framed some wall art, and I finished the crib bumper. I've finished my crafty projects: drawer pulls, lamps, and picture frames. Now I'm just plugging away at my sewing tasks - next up are the crib skirt and the window curtains. I did take pictures of the bedding set "before" to share with you all, but again, that time warp thing....I'll post the room plans soon, I promise.
For now, I've got several things for church keeping me busy, and the deadlines for those things are coming up much sooner than Lily Mae's due date. So, it's best that I turn my attention to those things so that nothing falls through the cracks. But stay tuned for some more posts coming at the beginning of next week!

Sure, She's Alive, but Now...She's Kickin'!

2010-03-23T16:50:00.007-04:00

This little girl.....

She likes to play with my stress buttons a little bit. Like how it's normal to start feeling definitive movements from the baby between 18 - 22 weeks. Well, I hadn't felt anything at all, and here I am at 22 weeks today. I was trying not to worry about it, but this was just one of those things that I wanted to make sure was happening. If I didn't feel anything today, I was going to call my doctor tomorrow just to make sure it was ok if I was out of the "normal" range.

Well, she gave me quite a performance today! Undoubtedly, it was Lily Mae - kicking and punching and moving around in every which way - what a relief! Now while I will gladly accept more and more of this dancing around, I have to say..... this is W.E.I.R.D. It really does feel like a real, live person moving in there. I never knew what to expect, I mean, how could I? How can anyone understand the unique feelings that come with growing a human being until they actually experience it?

Well I'm glad about this. And relieved. And happy. And excited. But I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it... she's been going at it all day and I have to keep telling myself that it feels different because it's not just air bubbles. It's a baby. Cool!

In other updates, I've been working on a bunch of stuff for Lily Mae and her room, and we took two weekend trips - one to Myrtle Beach and another to Maryland. Now, you regular readers already know that I've got quite a backlog of posts I've been intending to share with you, so I'm not going to add to that list now by saying I'll tell you about my trips later. So here's the mega-quick rundown for you:

Myrtle Beach: just me and Clark; his parents' condo; tied in putt-putt; ate good food; shopped at outlets and got outfits for Lily Mae; weather was 10 degrees warmer than forecasted; had fun; good trip.

After our fun game of putt-putt.

Maryland: me, Clark, and Rocky; long, long drive there (harder on my back than expected); my parents' house; breakfast, dinner, and shopping for Lily Mae with mom and dad; afternoon arts & crafts projects with Bonnie; triple date dinner with Bonnie & Joe and Erica & Josh; incredible weather (clear skies and upper 70's); parents gifted us with a stroller/travel system; had lots of fun visiting; long, long drive home.

Sorry for the terrible quality, but here we are (Erica on the left, Bonnie on the right) after our dinner date.

And of course, here's the obligatory belly shot! Growing by leaps and bounds, we are!

I really can't wait to share with you guys my plans for her room. I'm really excited about what's coming....but this is one of those things that will have to wait for another post. Soon, though! Thanks for checking in!

The Results Are In!

2010-03-10T22:59:00.004-05:00

We had a wonderful appointment today!! The ultrasound tech was very friendly and made us feel comfortable. She looked all around at our baby and determined that everything looked great! There was not a single issue of concern :) The baby measured at 20 weeks & 1 day which - go figure - is exactly how far along I really am, to the day. Pretty neat! The baby was moving a TON, arms and legs squirming everywhere - I'm surprised I didn't feel it! It weighed in at 12 ounces....growing up quick!

And of course what you all are waiting for....we're having a little girl! The tech was 100% sure of it - apparently it was crystal clear. And as I said in my last post, we had our girl's name picked out years ago. If you're a long time reader of this blog, you may remember why it's called what it is (if you don't, read this). If you attended or saw pictures of our wedding in 2007, you may recall that we had lilies of the valley on our cake for the same reason. And if you know that I'm pursuing photography as a profession, then you know that my business has been called Lily Mae Photography since the fall of 2008. We decided on the name Lily sometime between the starting of my blog and the starting of my business. It's just a name that Clark and I have both always loved. "Mae" doesn't have any particular significance to us, we just think that it's pretty and that it sounds nice with Lily. And until she expresses her own desire to be called something else, she'll go by her double name, Lily Mae.

There were only two people who thought it was going to be a boy, so we got a lot of "I knew it!" exclamations today. It was a roller coaster of a day for me, but very, very good and exciting. I can't wait to share the plans for Lily Mae's room (and the bedding set I talked about yesterday was for a girl - I'll post some pictures), but that will have to wait until another post. After the appointment we spent lots of time calling family and friends, and everyone's thrilled. Then we went out for Mexican food, went to a hobby store for some pieces for my first crafty thing for her, and got a cute blanket and outfit from Target. Then we stopped by to visit some friends and get and give some hugs.

Wonderful day, but now I'm exhausted! I'm outta here, but enjoy the ultrasound pictures!

(Sorry, we don't have digital ones so I had to take pictures of the prints with my iPhone...not the greatest quality)

Profile of her body, but she turned her head in our direction at the last minute. The picture is labeled, but since it's blurry, I'll tell you that her face in on the right (kind of looks like she's winking) and her belly is the bubble on the left. You can kind of see her little fist tucked up next to her cheek.

A footprint picture. She does have two feet, don't worry, haha. She just pulled one of them up on top of the other. I was expecting the baby to look a lot more like an alien, so I was pleasantly surprised that she looked so cute!

20 Down, 20 to Go - Halfway Point Thoughts

2010-03-09T19:54:00.004-05:00

We've made it! Today I'm 20 weeks pregnant, but I don't want to assume that all of you know all there is to know about pregnancy (gosh...I know I don't). So for you who aren't preggo pros, a "normal" pregnancy lasts for 40 weeks, so that means I'm halfway done!

Sometime between Saturday morning and now (Tuesday night), I sprouted a belly. It wasn't there before, but now....it really is. I can see it pretty obviously, and it's safe to say that everyone who saw me at church on Sunday night was blown away. Last Sunday there was a whole 'lotta nothing. I've started gaining weight which is nice and puts my mind at ease. I've gained back everything I lost during the first trimester and have added three whopping pounds to it.

There are tons of old wives' tales that go along with pregnancy, and none of them interest me save one. Many people say that the way a woman carries her baby in her belly suggests whether it's a boy or girl. The only reason I put any weight into this theory is because I've now witnessed many friends be pregnant. Friends who've had girls look a certain way, and friends who've had boys look a totally different way. I'm sure there are exceptions as there are to every rule, but since I've seen this theory proven several times, maybe it's not all hogwash. Point is....everyone I've talked to thinks I look like I'm carrying a girl.

I don't care what the sex of baby is, as long as it's healthy. Seriously. Clark and I both think that there are pros and cons of either one, and we don't really have a preference. If you put a gun to my head and told me I had to choose, I think I could admit to wanting one slightly more than the other, but it's like 50.1% for one and 49.9% for the other. (And no, I'm not telling you which one's which). Regardless, my gut tells me it's a girl. I've dreamt that it's a girl and when I think about the baby, my mind is just more inclined to think girl things. I don't know....just a gut feeling. I'd be happy with either, but I would be surprised if it was a boy. We'll know within 20 hours!

Preggo-wise, I've been feeling pretty good. I've got an occasional achy back, but that's it (and I don't even need Tylenol for it - it's not that bad). My headaches have gone away and my appetite has come back. I've got more energy overall, but sometimes after lots of activity I do feel like I've hit a brick wall and I have to stop and sit. I did have a nasty, evil cold for two weeks. It probably felt worse than a normal cold only because there was very little medicine I could take to relieve my symptoms. It was a head cold for one week before moving down to my chest for the rest of the time. I completely lost my voice for about five days and I've still got a wet cough that just won't quit, but it's nothing that's getting me down anymore. Oh! Good news! Sometime after 18 weeks I went off of my anti-nausea medicine again to see if it had passed, and I have yet to get sick again! I think it's over for good and I'm totally thrilled about that.

When I was really sick, I had feelings like, "what if it's this bad the whole time?," "what if it's this bad every time?," and "how can I possibly be sick like this while having to take care of a toddler (or even more kids)?" I think I'm over it now. That first trimester was hard, I have to admit (and it didn't turn off like a switch like I was told it would...I'm just now starting to get my groove back consistently). In the midst of all the grossness I was feeling, I lost my memory of what it felt like to just feel halfway decent. I was worried that I'd never feel good again but....I thank God that I do! And now, just as quickly as those concerns had come, they've gone again. I'm so hungry nowadays that now instead it's becoming hard to remember what it was like to feel sick and have no taste for food! I feel fortunate to have had a rough experience so that I can relate and empathize with other women, and also to know that I can live through it and that it gets better. That alone is enough of an encouragement to myself that I look forward to going through it again and again (God willing) to bring more little ones into the world. So a note to my future sick-preggo-self who I'm sure will read this post in a few years in search of some hope: it will go away, you'll be happy again soon, and it will all be worth it. So keep your chin up and hang in there!

We've got a few things for the baby's room. (Does anyone else NOT like the word "nursery"? I just don't like it. My personal opinion is that it's too traditional-sounding and like a nursery should be a big room with lots of random babies. After tomorrow, we will be calling that room [insert baby's name here]'s room.) We've got a crib and a changing table both assembled, the beginnings of my cloth diaper stash arranged cutely on the shelves of the changing table, and a bedding set for one particular gender (not telling which). The story behind that is that I found a twin-sized bed-in-a-bag set that - if it turns out to be that gender - I will take apart and make into a baby linen set. It was a great deal and Clark said I should get it, even just to hang on to for "someday" if it's not this time. That room will be totally gender-specific, so pretty much we just need to wait a smidge longer to get started on it.

Tomorrow.

Oh my goodness, tomorrow. I don't know what "normal" emotions are to have about what's happening tomorrow, because I've never had a 20-week ultrasound appointment before. I've had several friends who have had bad experiences with that appointment, one of them being completely devastating. Part of me wishes that I could walk into the office tomorrow afternoon and feel nothing but joy and excitement for seeing the baby and finding out the sex. The other, bigger part of me is thankful to not be naive. If everything's not completely perfect, at least I won't be caught completely off-guard and I will have a strong support system of friends by my side. I am anxious about it. I had a little bit of a meltdown over the weekend because I was totally overwhelmed by fear. "My belly's not big enough." "I'm not growing right." "Nobody ever thinks something will be wrong." "I've taken too much Tylenol." "I haven't been drinking and eating right." UGH. But I just needed that hour or so to freak out and get it out of my system. I'm better now and not worrying about things like that; I have just anxiety about it in general. My past appointments at 6, 8, 12, and 16 weeks have been great and the baby and I got clean bills of health from the doctors, so really, I don't think I should expect anything different this time.

On the good side, man am I EXCITED to know what it is!!!! I'm really hoping the baby cooperates and we get a good angle to see the goods. I was told last time that in their practice they've only been wrong one time in seven years, so I have confidence in them. We've had a girl name picked out for almost two years, and a boy name for about three months. So we just need to know what it is, and then he or she will have a name! I can't wait to see it and be surprised by how much it's grown. I can't wait for it to have a name!!!!!! And you all will know what it is tomorrow!! Be sure to check back in, and thanks for reading today!!

Rewind: October Trip to MD

2010-02-24T22:55:00.004-05:00

Alrighty, finally made it upstairs to my Mac, where all my pretty pictures are.

(Yes, I have been sick and groggy and tired, and instead of making the grueling trek up the one regular flight of stairs that we have, I have been working off of my laptop from the coffee table in the den. Don't make fun...you know you'd do the same thing. Or maybe you wouldn't.)

So we're back to where these "Life Since October" updates began. The very first weekend of last October, we made a trip up to Maryland to visit friends and family. Originally, I had coordinated with Bonnie to go to the Renaissance Festival that weekend, as we used to do every year when I lived there. That weekend happened to also be the weekend of the Maryland/Clemson football game - a game that my dad could get tickets to. The game time was yet to be determined when we planned the trip, but I was hopeful that it would be a night game so that my Renn Fest plans wouldn't be thwarted. Alas, they were. It was a 1:00 game, so the Renn Fest was out. I'm still sad about that, but hey - my dad bought us tickets to a great game and we had a lot of fun. At that particular time in the season, Clemson was doing great, and Maryland....not so much. Even as an avid fan, I was expecting the Terps to get shut out. But, just the same as what happens every year, Maryland got a wave of good luck and stomped all over the Tigers. I felt bad, because I knew MD's prospects weren't good for the season, and it would be much worse for Clemson to have a loss. And I'm a Clemson fan, too, whenever they're not playing my turtles. It was the only game we were able to go to that year, and I really wanted my hubby to be able to see his team win. (Sorry hon, maybe we should stick to games where Clemson doesn't play Maryland - it doesn't seem to ever go well for you.) Anyway, Maryland pulled out a 24-21 win that afternoon. Yay for me, boo for Clark.

After the fun afternoon, we had the joy of hanging out with friends. We never go to Maryland without visiting with Bonnie and Joe, and rarely have we made a visit without also seeing our friends Erica and Josh. Usually due to time issues, we all get together at the same time and have dinner as a group. We all met in Sykesville and had a really great time catching up as we always do. I really miss my friends.

After dinner, Clark and I went back to Bonnie and Joe's place to keep the party rolling. And by that, I mean play Scrabble, chit-chat, and snuggle. Er - Bonnie and I snuggled, but Clark and Joe did not. Just to clarify.

And the last fun event of the weekend was meeting Baby Rex! I missed out on one of my very close friends having her first son last July. We got to visit with Mary and Wolf, meet their wonderfully squishy little boy, and have pizza together. Spending time with friends is really one of my favorite things to do ever, and this was a particularly special visit for me. It was during a time when Clark and I were getting very frustrated about not getting pregnant, and one of Mary's greatest gifts is that of encouragement. She had so many wonderful things to say to build us up, and Wolf's notorious dry humor was much needed. I wish I had a mini Mary and Wolf set to carry around in my pocket every day - they just brighten my life so much.

That about does it for the Maryland visit! We've got another visit coming up here in the next month, and I promise it won't take me as long to post about it!

Moving Right Along Through December!

2010-02-22T21:06:00.003-05:00

I've got all these nice pictures on my SD card from life since October, but I have to go through them, pick my favorites, and downsize them. I'll do that later, so I'm leaving out any event that have nice pictures for now. We made it through October (there was a ton left out, sorry) and November (only thing missing is Thanksgiving). So moving on to December and beyond!

December
Oh, but umm, almost everything that happened in December has said nice pictures. Oops.

Well, here are the posts you have to look forward to later:

We hosted a Christmas cookie party for our Bible study group
I enjoyed dinner and a fun photo session of my friends and their sweet baby
My parents and aunt came to visit
We hosted family at our house for Christmas day

Other than that, some other things did happen! I was still pretty sick in December, but I was able to perk up and make it out of the house for my friend Abbi's Christmas party. Abbi and I used to work together, and through that job, we've become fantastic friends. I have had lunch with her almost every week since I've left the office. She's also pregnant and about 15 weeks ahead of me. The party was great and I happened to have a little appetite that night, so it was awesome to have tablefuls of yummy snacks to choose from. I didn't know many people there other than the other girls I used to work with. It was fun catching up with them and I'm glad I was able to go!

I turned 25! Gotta admit...I did feel older on this birthday. 25....a quarter-century. I'm over the hump of my 20's. My birthday was on a Monday and I was sick (I know that you know...sorry to keep saying it. I won't say it anymore). I didn't want to do anything special on that day because I knew I wouldn't enjoy it, so we delayed the birthday plans. I did get to spend some time with friends, though, because I went to a monthly team meeting for church that I always enjoy. Stay tuned when we get to the January updates, because I'll tell you about my belated birthday dinner.

My parents came to visit from the 23rd - 27th and they brought along my Aunt Jean (mom of cousin Dawn from the last post). I was mostly si-...er, um, I wasn't feeling at my best while they visited, but they understood and were very helpful around the house. They cooked, they cleaned, they drove me around, my mom wrapped all of my presents for me (the ones that weren't for her, of course), and they pretty much tended to my every need. It was definitely wonderful having them with us. They gave me a totally rockin' birthday present - a fancy schmancy flash for my Nikon (I really needed it), and some moolah which I put toward a crib for the upcoming little one.

My family left on the morning of the 27th, and later that evening one of my best friends Bonnie and her husband Joe came to visit! I can't believe that I took NO pictures while they were here. But hey, after all I was still si-...I mean, feeling a little under the weather. Joe had been to SC before to come to our wedding, but he had never been to our house or town before. Bonnie is an old pro' at visiting me, so she had her list of fun things that she wanted to share with Joe. We had a good time, and I know Clark was grateful for the manly company. He usually has to tag around as the third wheel when Bonnie and I get together, so this was a much better balance for all of us. We had a great time together, played games, tooled around town, ate a little food - the usual. Except Bonnie and I usually bake things together, but no part of me wanted to be in the kitchen this go 'round. They left on the 30th, and that marked the end of all of our Christmas visitors and adventures.

For New Years Eve, we did nothing. We didn't even watch anything on tv or the ball drop. Party animals. Yup, that's what we are.

The next few posts you'll see will have some of the "nice picture" posts you've been so eagerly looking forward to!

Wild Thing, You Make My Heart Sing

2010-02-21T20:36:00.011-05:00

Being pregnant is a pretty big part of our lives these days, so I'm taking a really quick break from "Life Since October" updates and am going to share something special with you :)

Almost two weeks ago (geez, that went by fast), I had my 16-week appointment. Everything went well even though I didn't particularly care for the doctor we saw. In the practice, there are three doctors. You may remember that "Doc F" is my primary prenatal doctor, but all three doctors share patients during their on-call hours. As part of their patient care, they like for all moms-to-be to meet with all of the doctors, so that there's at least a slight degree of familiarity between them. Anywho, I had the "pleasure" of meeting Doctor E for the first time. I won't go into it too much...she was fine, really. Just had a little bit of 'tude with me and didn't really listen to the few questions/concerns I had, primarily about my lack of weight gain. Regardless, she knew her stuff and gave me the a-okay about everything. The heartbeat was strong and healthy, and after she ~~tickled~~ poked around my belly a bit to feel the size of things, she said everything was growing just right even if I was still pre-preggo sized. To me, that seems a bit weird....how is it growing just right if I'm not? (A purely rhetorical question)

So, that special thing I wanted to share! Here's our baby's heartbeat! The nurse let me record it with my handy dandy iPhone, so here you have it, at a strong heart rate of 142.

And, let's face it, this blog is due for a belly picture. It's not much, because my belly's not much. I'm kinda bummed...I guess I had an unrealistic expectation that it was normal to start showing at around 12 weeks. I've gotten many encouraging words from friends and family, but hey, feelings are feelings. I know it'll be fine, and I know that once I'm as big as a house I won't want to be, but for now, whenever that belly wants to pop out and show itself would be fine with me. The good news is that I've finally gotten back to my pre-pregnancy weight! It's only up from here!

17 weeks, 4 days (2/20/10)

The biggest encouragement recently has been from my cousin Dawn. She had a very cute little girl named Taylor last summer. Since I have no sisters, she is the closest relative I can compare with, and she too didn't start showing until later on...around 20 weeks she told me. We started with the same body type, and she got really sick and lost weight during her first trimester, too. Very similar experiences. Here are two of her pictures...

Cousin Dawn, 17 weeks, 5 days - looks just like meeeee!

And see! She got a belly after all! This is her at 32 weeks...there's hope for me yet!

Oh oh! And I almost forgot to tell you! Our big ultrasound is scheduled! March 10th, 3:00 pm. I'm reluctant to say that I'll make an immediate announcement about the sex or how it went, but maybe I will! Either way, I'm really, REALLY excited about it! 16 days, yippie!!